The Day I Met Fowl
by Fairyfinder
Summary: This story is kind of about me meeting Artemis Fowl at school. I've changed all names. Nellie's sister pings Holly by accident and they send Artemis to check it out. Artemis and Nellie get in a fight, there are kidnappings, of course, secrets, quirky OCs, and quite a few SPOILERS FOR TLG!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story is supposed to be about me but I changed my name because I don't like giving that out anywhere.**

**Disclaimer: I do not in any way shape or form own Artemis Fowl. Well I do have copies of all the books but I suppose that doesn't count does it?**

Nellie Green's fingers sped across the key board, making very few mistakes. She glanced at her clock.

_Rats,_ she thought, _almost midnight!_

She had been writing a new story for . It was an Artemis Fowl one and she had gotten addicted to writing it, again.

Nellie's parents had warned her that if she stayed up past midnight again then her laptop would be taken away from her for two weeks! Nellie didn't think she could stand not knowing what was going on in the world of Artemis Fowl Fanfiction!

Nellie saved her story and turned off her laptop, quickly sliding it under her mattress. She heard her parents approaching and pulled the blankets up to her chin, covering her t-shirt and jeans that she had forgotten to change out of.

Mr. and Mrs. Green opened their daughters' door. On the bed to the left Nellie's younger sister slept peacefully. The parents looked at Nellie's bed and scowled. Lights were coming out of the mattress and a robotic voice asked if they would like to shut the computer down.

Nellie grimaced when the computer asked about shutting down, but she continued to feign sleep.

"Your last browsing session ended unexpectedly, one minute ago. Would you like to reboot?" The laptop asked.

"One minute ago?" Mr. Green asked, "She turned it off a minute ago and fell asleep?"

"Hasn't she been complaining about how long it takes her to get to sleep? This isn't like her at all." Mrs. Green commented.

"Unless she's not asleep." Mr. Green said, directly to Nellie.

She rolled over and looked at her parents.

"Nellie, you know we don't like it when you stay up late! And today's a Tuesday! You have classes tomorrow!" Mrs. Green scolded.

"I know Mom! I just got kind of wrapped up in the thrill of the story!" Nellie explained.

"It doesn't matter! You lose computer for two weeks! Maybe you'll go outside and have one of those adventures you keep writing about."

_Yeah right, maybe in my best dream ever_! Nellie thought glumly. Little did she know that she would, very soon.

**Fowl Manor**

Artemis glanced at his email and frowned. There were to be no secret, not to mention illegal, meetings this week. What else could he do? He had done all of his chores, yes his parents were giving him chores now that he wasn't a criminal.

His parents wanted a normal son now that his fairy expeditions were completed. Sometimes he wished that he had never killed Opal. Or that she had killed him. He paused; it was strange to think about. He was dead. Well technically he was living inside the clone of him; some of the boys at St. Bartleby's would call him a zombie if they knew.

_One good thing about being dead is no school._ Artemis thought.

His parents had decided that it would be best if he avoided public places for a while. Then in a few months he could come back and tell everyone he had faked his death. No one would question why, he was a genius and any reason he gave would make the inquirer appear stupid.

Artemis looked at his bare feet and grimaced. He had six toes. At least Foaly hadn't given him two noses.

The prodigy heard a ping from his computer that told him he had an email. He glanced at the computer.

"Ah, a Fanfiction story alert. I wonder which story it is." The boy had become interested in Fanfiction ever since he Eoin Colfer published his biography and people thought it was fiction. Artemis was glad that was what people thought of it, the fairies would have never let Mr. Colfer get away with it if the story hadn't been accepted as fantasy.

The Fanfiction story alert was for a story about Beckett and Miles that Artemis found humorous, given Beckett and Myles would never act in such a manor.

Artemis went to the website and logged in. For those of you who are wondering, his username was Don't-call-me-Arty. He was hoping it would be taken as just another ridiculous username for some ordinary kid.

The story was just as poorly written as Artemis had hoped. It made him laugh. He had been doing a lot more of that since he had died. Dying made him appreciate life more. But this isn't a story about appreciating life or dwelling on Artemis' death. (Which, by the way, I found very predictable.)

"I wonder who wrote this. They are in obvious need of a grammar text book!" Artemis laughed.

There was a knock on the door. Artemis hobbled over to get it; he still wasn't walking very well.

"Ah, how can I help you…?" His memory hadn't completely returned either. He thought hard, he knew this person, "Juliet! Yes that's it. Sorry about that. How can I help you Juliet?"

"It doesn't matter, at least you remembered this time. I was wondering if you wanted some soup, I just made some vegetable soup out of some stuff from the garden." Juliet smiled.

"I can smell it from here. It is intoxicating; I would love some soup. Anything else?" Artemis said, seeing Juliet was deciding whether or not to tell him something.

"Well, Commander Kelp is here. I told him you were still recovering but he won't leave until he sees you. Sorry." Juliet said, expecting some snide remark.

"Of course, I'll get to it immediately. Tell him I'll be down in a moment." Artemis replied politely.

Juliet was stunned. The Artemis of old would have told her to leave and tell Commander Kelp that he would not be allowed to see Artemis.

"Uh, okay. I'll do that." Juliet said numbly.

Artemis hobbled over to his bed and sat down. He pulled on some socks and loafers and put on his blazer over his shirt. No need for a tie.

The teenage genius waddled down stairs and asked Myles where Commander Kelp was.

Myles giggles and looked at Beckett. Beckett looked at Artemis and tried to stop himself from laughing, he failed.

"What are you two laughing about? Is there something on my face?" Artemis said, pulling his face in different directions.

Myles and Beckett laughed harder. Artemis smiled at them.

"No!" Beckett gasped, "You tell him Myles!"

As Beckett giggled uncontrollably Myles calmed himself. "Your girlfriend is here!" And then both twins erupted with laughter and rolled around on the floor.

"I see." Artemis blushed, "Where is she, who is not my girlfriend?"

"Outside!" Beckett managed to say through his laughter.

Artemis hobbled outside and found Juliet, Mrs. Fowl, Holly, Trouble Kelp, and Butler sitting at the picnic table. Juliet was serving vegetable soup.

"Oh here he is! Come join us, Arty!" Mrs. Fowl called.

"Hello Artemis." Holly and Trouble said in unison.

"Hello, Commander, Captain." Artemis tried to avoid talking to the captain because he couldn't recall her name at the moment.

"Why are you being so formal? Have a seat." Mrs. Fowl scolded.

"Of course Mother." Mrs. Fowl looked at him, "Mom."

"You're probably wondering why we're here." Trouble said.

"A visit from friends is always welcome." Artemis said with a nod.

"Are you feeling alright?" The captain asked.

"You are like a second mother, Captain." Artemis grinned, "I'm fine."

"And another thing, why do you keep calling me that? You haven't called me captain since the artic!"

"I simply wish to distinguish formality." Artemis lied; it was a perfect lie though. You couldn't even tell.

"You forgot my name, didn't you? It's okay to say so." The captain said calmly.

"I know what your name is! It's…" He paused and looked around. He knew it was some kind of plant. Daisy? No. Something to do with Christmas. Mistletoe? He hoped not. Then it hit him.

"Your name is Poinsettia." Artemis said surely.

Holly smiled kindly and shook her head.

"Well then I have forgotten your name. I am so sorry." Artemis said apologetically.

"My name is Holly. It's okay, I'm sure everyone forgets my name some of the time."

Artemis nodded, rather than go into conversation about his memory loss.

"Anyway, we came here because we need your help. Again." Trouble grimaced.

"I will help you to my fullest extent, if my mother allows me to." Artemis said, glancing at his mother.

"We would have Foaly do it but he's not human and we need a human genius at the moment." Trouble coaxed.

"Of course. What do you need?" Artemis asked readily. He was bored of sitting around the house.

"We need you to go to America and go to a school there. A certain young author needs to be watched." Trouble grunted.

"Why does this author need watching? I have told you that Mr. Colfer's work was taken to be fiction. I did tell you that, correct?"

"It's not him; he's not exactly young or living in America. This author has been taking the story a little too seriously for our taste. We'd prefer to do a mind wipe but considering the story is a best seller we thought she would probably be reminded and we'd have to do the whole thing over again. So we want surveillance on her to make sure she doesn't try to find us again."

"What do you mean, again?"

"Well she somehow got ahold of my cell phone number and called me. I answered like I was a carpet cleaning service but she knew who I was! I got a new number of course, but it would appear that she found that one out as well." Holly said, embarrassed.

"So you want me to find out how she got these numbers and stop her from thinking fairies are real." Artemis concluded.

"Exactly. There is no danger to this mission, just convincing a ten year old that there is no such thing as fairies." Trouble said happily.

Artemis looked at his mother. He knew he would have to talk this over with his family.

"I'll think about it Commander. Thanks for the visit." Artemis said, rising unsteadily from his seat.

Butler steadied the boy and helped him back to the house.

**Iowa**

Nellie woke up and got ready for classes. School was always a drag. Good thing she only had classes on Wednesdays. (She's homeschooled but has classes with other students on Wednesdays.)

After packing her back pack she hopped in the car and waited for her mom.

When Mrs. Green finally came she started the engine and they were off.

"Maybe you'll have that adventure today." Mrs. Green smiled.

"Yeah, I hope so." Nellie mumbled.

Little did she know…

**A/N: Well, what do you think? Ridiculous? Annoying? Has it been done before? Please review, and not about my many grammatical errors.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: I won't say that I don't!**

**Artemis: But you don't, you would be lying if you said you did.**

**Me: Well you can't make me say I don't!**

**Artemis: That's what you think…**

**Me (gasping): You wouldn't**

**Holly (using the mezmer): You'll admit you don't own the Artemis Fowl series when I snap my fingers. **

**Holly snaps.**

**Me: I don't own the Artemis Fowl series.**

**Artemis (smirking): Exactly.**

**Iowa**

Nellie groaned when the family minivan pulled into the school parking lot.

"See you later! Have a good day!" Mrs. Green called.

"Bye Mom!" Nellie waved and headed for her first class, technology.

Inside Nellie's best friend, Mia, was waiting for her.

"Hey Nellie! Ready for class?" Mia, the ever cheerful one, smiled.

"No. What happened to our week? I can't believe I didn't finish my English papers!" Nellie moaned.

"Well maybe this will cheer you up; there is a new kid here for the high school classes and he's asking about your little sister!" Mia was always trying to get Nellie to go on a date with some random guy in their classes. Nellie hated the thought of dating. She didn't ever want to date or get married or anything. Guys seemed so immature to her.

"Oh really? And why is he asking for Kat?" Nellie was very protective of her sister.

"He says he'd like to hear one of her stories or something like that. I don't really know what he's talking about because aren't you the one who likes writing?"

"I am. What a strange kid. Do you know his name or where he's from?" Nellie asked skeptically.

"No one knows his name but I do know he's from Ireland; he's got an accent!" Mia giggled.

"Of course he does. And I suppose you know what classes he's in too?" Nellie said with a roll of her eyes.

"He's in our Tech class and in Spanish 1 and in your PE class. He might be in one other but I don't know what it would be." Mia said excitedly.

The girls headed for Tech 1 and took their seats when they arrived. The new kid was already there and asking some of the other boys about Nellie's sister. One of the guys pointed at Nellie, who wasn't paying attention.

The boy came over to Nellie's table, which had Mia and two other girls sitting at it, and took a seat.

"Hi!" Mia said.

Nellie was busy looking for her flash drive in her backpack, which was under the table. When she heard Mia greet the new kid she tried to sit up to see him. She bonked her head coming up.

"Ow!" Nellie said, rising.

"Are you okay?" Mia asked.

"Yeah, but remind me never to get into a fist fight with a table, I'll lose." Nellie said, rubbing her head.

"Nellie? Are you okay?" Ms. Moore called, while trying to set up a power point.

"I'm fine!" Nellie said. She turned to the new kid, "Hi, sorry about that. I'm Nellie." Nellie offered her hand to the lamp.

The new kid appeared to be worried. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Nellie asked.

"You're trying to shake hands with a lamp." Mia commented.

"Oh. Hang on a second." Nellie straightened her glasses so she could look out of them. She turned to the new kid. "I'm Nellie."

"I'm Arte—err—Arthur." The boy said.

"Welcome to the class Arthur. I'm Mia." Mia shook his hand. All of the girls at the table introduced themselves and Arthur left to sit with the other boys.

That day in technology they were learning about how to use a webcam. Arthur pretty much took over the whole class and taught them how to alter your image so the person you were Skyping would see a completely different person. He also taught them how to spike their emails so no one could trace them. Ms. Moore was taking notes the whole time.

At the end of Tech 1 Nellie and Mia went to their English class. It was rather boring and both girls nodded off a few times. At the end of it the girls had lunch.

Since the younger kids ate lunch in the cafeteria the high schoolers always ate outside. Nellie and Mia sat at their usual picnic table. The other girls that had lunch that period always ate on a blanket in the field behind the school.

**Study Hall after Tech 1**

Arthur was actually Artemis. But you probably guessed that. He had been searching throughout the entire school for Kat (Nellie's little sister), but could not find her anywhere.

When the time came for lunch Artemis retrieved his lunch box and found Nellie and Mia outside.

The girls were talking but Artemis sat down anyway. The girls barely acknowledged his presence.

Artemis took out his peanut butter and jelly sandwich and grimaced.

"What? Don't you like PB and J?" Nellie asked.

"I hate it." Artemis said, peeking inside to check for poison.

"I'll trade you. I've got leftover pot-roast in here." Mia said, giving her lunch box a shake.

"No thank you. I'll endure the horror."

Both girls laughed and Artemis smiled.

The trio munched silently for a few minutes until Artemis broke the ice.

"Nellie, don't you have a sister?" He asked, trying to be subtle.

"And three brothers. My sister's name is Katharine but we call her Kat." Nellie answered around her own sandwich.

"Do any of them take classes here?" Artemis inquired.

"My oldest brother goes full time to Central High, my two younger brothers, who are twins, homeschool full time, and Kat takes two classes down here. Kat's sick though." Nellie informed.

"Okay." Artemis pretended to be interested.

"How about you? Got any siblings?" Nellie thought that if he got to know something about her then she should get some information back.

"I have to younger brothers, who also happen to be twins." Artemis paused and thought. Perhaps this girl had read the books. Maybe he should pretend to have a bigger family, "I also have an older sister and older brother as well."

"That's cool. My older brother is named Herald and my two younger ones are Jack and Gary. How about yours?" Nellie asked.

"My younger brothers are, uh, Stephan and, um, Robert." Artemis thought for a minute, he couldn't remember his brother's actual names and he hoped that he hadn't given Nellie the right ones, "My sister is Julie and my older brother is, uh, Don." He knew that Butler's first name was close to Don but he couldn't remember what it was. Julie was a good swap for Juliet.

The three teens all had Spanish 1 next and they all sat together.

Artemis, or Arthur, once again took over the class. He taught everyone several important phrases in Spanish and corrected the teacher several times.

At the end of Spanish 1 Nellie and Mia went off to their next class and Artemis went back to study hall.

During Nellie and Mia's math class, which was the one after Spanish 1, Nellie passed Mia a note.

_Mia,_

_I think Arthur looks familiar, it's like I know him from somewhere!_

Mia read the note and glanced at the teacher. She scribbled down a note and passed it back to Nellie.

_Nellie,_

_He is a bit weird. He wears a suit! What teenage boy does that?! He acts different too, more proper or something._

Nellie scanned the note. She gasped audibly and the teacher turned around. Nellie hid the note in her sleeve and pretended to be going over her text book.

Nellie quickly wrote another note to Mia.

_Arthur reminds me of Artemis Fowl! I can't believe it! :D_

Mia rolled her eyes when she read the note.

_You're just paranoid. Artemis Fowl is not real! And even if he was he died, right? Get over it._

By "it" Mia meant the end of the series. Ever since Nellie had read the eighth book she was sad because she didn't have anything to read. Nellie had been moping around ever since the end.

Nellie frowned and resolved to keep a close eye on Arthur.

**After Math Class**

Nellie changed for PE and went to the gym, which was the general meeting place for homeschoolers. Arthur was already there, in an expensive looking track suit.

That day in PE they were playing flag football. Nellie excelled in this sport (not to brag), but Artemis did not, he will prove this in the next chapter…


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Claire, thank you for the nice review, I love reading reviews. I'm glad you like my writing and I will try to live up to your standards, it probably won't happen, but I'll try.**

**Disclaimer: Butler watches me type and I stop. "What?" "Did you put the disclaimer on it?" He says. I shrug, "Do I really have to? It's like the third chapter." Butler growls and cracks his knuckles. I quickly type: I positively do not own Artemis Fowl! Butler grunts. "Good. Don't forget to write it next time." I groan, characters are so touchy.**

Nellie caught the football and darted for the goal area. She had just outrun two of the boys and a really quick girl. She slowed down and grinned to herself once past the scoring line. It was nice to play games she was good at.

Artemis was glad he was on the winning team. The three other boys did most of the work for him. The only time he had messed up so far was when he had caught the ball and tripped over his own feet. He still wasn't used to running. Not that he had been any good at it when he was in his original body.

The other members of his team consisted of Nellie and one other girl with the brightest red hair he had ever seen. The other team had three boys and three girls most of whom seemed to be very rude.

After Nellie scored both teams went into a huddle.

"Good job, Nellie. All we have to do is stop them from getting the ball into their goal four times and we win. Don't give them any ground to move on. I want you up in their faces! Let's go people." One of the boys, whose name was Bob said.

The PE coach looked at their huddle for a second before yelling at Bob. "You have all had a turn at being captain except Arthur. Give him a turn!"

Artemis gave a small moan. Sports had never been his strong point, if he messed this up he would be labeled as "wimp", or some other equally annoying insult, for the rest of the school year.

"All right, Arty. Show us what you can do." Bob grunted.

"I think that if we all take a stand at different points on the field, exactly where I tell you, then we may be able to see what they are going to do and take the flag of whoever gets the ball." Artemis tried to ignore the fact that Bob had called him Arty and concentrate on what he knew about American football. How did the coach expect him to be captain? He was Irish! Surely the coach knew that the Irish did not play football!

As all the other members of their team found the spots Artemis had assigned Nellie came over to him.

"Sorry if you feel like you don't understand this game. I don't really either but doing what they say has sort of taught me what to do. Is rugby anything like football?"

"It is very kind of you to apologize for your coach's ignorance. I have never played rugby. I suppose the rules are similar. Do you remember your spot?" Artemis realized that he was talking like his old self and not like the sweet Artemis that had been created after he and Koboi had been killed. He was glad. The kind Artemis seemed too sweet for anyone's taste.

Nellie nodded and went to her place. The game began with a "Hut!" from the other team. Artemis immediately spotted three flaws in his previous plan.

There was not enough of his team to cover the correct amount of ground.

Bob was not paying attention.

The rest of the team had missed the silent pass off between the quarterback and receiver.

Artemis dashed after the receiver. If Artemis Fowl the second had been any good at "dashing" then the game may have been saved. Unfortunately running had never been a big part of Artemis' schedule unless he was on a mission.

The game ended as soon as the receiver crossed the goal line. Artemis' teammates glared at him and the coach laughed.

"Good job kids! The game is over, gather up the gear and go on in." The coach called.

Artemis helped collect the gear and headed for the school building. If only there had been a troll behind him, then he would have surely gotten the receiver's flag.

As he passed through the doors Artemis was shoved by the other boys on his team.

"Nice going Arty." Bob whispered.

"It was a good plan." Nellie offered.

"Thank you." Artemis sighed.

Artemis sat in a chair and watched Nellie play a basketball game called knock out while waiting for her ride to be done with class. Nellie seemed like a normal person. He wondered how her younger sister could have figured out that fairies were real.

When Nellie's ride, a girl named Christy came out of class with her friends Nellie packed up her bag and stood, waiting for Christy to be done talking.

Artemis walked over to her. Nellie seemed bored.

"You appear to be uninterested in their conversation. Anything I can do to help this?" Artemis smiled.

"Probably not. Can you make seniors stop talking about hair?" Nellie sighed and adjusted her glasses, "I'll probably just read a book until their done talking."

Artemis raised his eyebrows. "I didn't know that you liked to read. Does your sister?"

"Well sort of, if she finds a really good book that was written for her age. I'll read almost anything, how about you?"

Artemis glanced at her back-pack. He saw a fantasy book and gave a false smile.

"I like to read fantasy. Do you know of any good authors?"

"Oh yeah, there are tons of them. Gail Carson Levine, for example. She's great. Or maybe you like humor, E.D. Baker is a great writer." Nellie thought for a minute. If this boy was actually Artemis Fowl then perhaps he would know who the author of his series was. "Another good fantasy humor writer is James Riley, or Eoin Colfer." She said the name slowly and looked for any signs of recognition on Arthur's face.

The boy blinked but nothing else. "Those sound like excellent authors. I will have to see about getting their books from the library."

"Well, the library may not have one of the Colfer books. The Last Guardian is pretty new. It has a rather predictable ending though. I won't tell you, but you'll probably figure it out before you read it."

Both teenagers were looking at each other suspiciously now. "If it's that predictable then why don't you tell me? I have an idea about what may happen but I'd like to know for sure." Artemis sneered.

"The main character dies in the end." Nellie glared at Arthur/Artemis.

"Oh really? That is not at all what I was expecting. What happens after that?" Artemis growled.

"Not much. His ghost goes into a clone body and they all live happily ever after or something." Nellie scowled.

"You sound disappointed." Artemis smirked.

"It was a good series, but I wish the hero would have stayed dead. He had a tendency to cause problems. I bet his family was better off with him in the ground." Nellie jeered.

"I have a strong feeling that they weren't." Artemis snarled.

"Oh yeah?" Nellie taunted.

"Yes, as a matter of fact." Arthur/Artemis spat.

Both teenagers glared at each other menacingly. Christy glanced their way and quickly rushed over to them, and half pushed the two apart.

"What's going on Nellie?" Christy asked.

"Oh nothing. We just had a disagreement about a book. Nothing serious. Just a_ dumb_ book." Nellie hissed, still glaring at Artemis.

"Well, I think I should probably be getting you home. I hope you have a good week, Arthur." Christy said, pulling Nellie away.

Artemis scowled at the girl but remembered his mission. He gave her a vampire smile and turned back to organizing his bag until Butler picked him up. He would have to apologize the next time he saw Nellie if he ever wanted to meet her sister. No matter how much he disliked her.

**A/N: Do you like it? If you do, review this story or I'll never write in it again. I need at least one new review! (Evil laugh.) And I don't think many of you care that it is really short, because you know how frequently I update. I may not be able to update for a little while, but I promise it is coming. Thanks for reading! Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Alright, I can't stand not writing any longer! I still want reviews but I will write! Grr!**

**Disclaimer: You know it, I know it, but my Uncle Garfield may not know that I don't own Artemis Fowl.**

Kat, Nellie's little sister, was concentrating on doing last week's homework. She was not actually sick, she had told her mother and sister that so that she could get her overdue homework done. It would have been done earlier but she was busy making phone calls. We'll get to that later.

When Nellie came home she was in a bad mood. Kat could practically see the steam coming out of her ears.

"What happened?" Kat asked, adapting her voice to sound like she had a cold.

"That rotten Arthur!" Nellie hissed, "I know who actually is, but do you think I can prove it? No!"

"Um, who?" Kat asked.

"This new kid at classes. He calls himself Arthur but I think he's actually…" Nellie paused, remembering that she was talking to her sister, "It's none of your beeswax!"

Kat shrugged and examined her science book. Einstein was in a considerably better mood than her sister.

Nellie walked over to her dog, Killer, and gave him a biscuit. She walked over to the window and stared at the clouds. Nothing was helping her calm down. She felt the urge to steal her laptop back from her parents; writing was the only thing that could calm her down at a time like this.

Kat tossed a notebook to her big sister without looking up. Nellie smiled, Kat knew her well. Nellie grabbed a pencil and scribbled quickly for two minutes and then looked up.

"Why was he asking for Kat?" She said.

"What? What did I do?" Kat said sleepily glancing up from her Creative Science book.

"Err, I was talking to myself. I gotta make a call." Nellie picked up her cell phone and went to contacts and selected Mia. She texted a quick message.

_Y would Arty ask 4 Kat?_

Nellie waited a moment and received a text back:

_Dn't no. Y dn't u ask him?_

Nellie frowned and typed:

_We had a fight._

Mia answered quickly:

_Really? Wht bout?_

_Book chrctrs. _

_O brother._

_I no right._

_Wht book?_

_Arty Fwl._

_U talked bout Arty Fwl?! _

_Yes._

_Y?_

_Dn't no._

Nellie stopped typing and Mia wondered what happened.

_R u ther? _

_TTYL._

_K, c u._

Nellie closed her phone and looked at her sister. What was so special about her? Then it hit Nellie like a bag of bricks. _Of course, the numbers! _Nellie realized.

"Kat, I need to ask you something." Nellie said.

"Yeah?"

"What do you know about Artemis Fowl?"

"You mean your book? Not much, my favorite character is Holly Short. She sounds awesome! She can totally destroy Artemis!" Kat did a fist pump.

"I was wondering what you did with those numbers I gave you." Nellie said, rolling her eyes at her sister's comment.

"You mean the numbers from the book that you didn't know what meant?" Kat asked.

Nellie bobbed her head.

"Well I thought that they looked like a telephone number so I called it." Kat said, not revealing who she had called.

"And?"

"You won't believe me, but Holly Short picked up!" Kat whispered.

Nellie nodded and left to beg for her computer. The begging was to be in vain.

At the same time Artemis was searching the web for an address for the Greens. He found one and wrote it down.

Butler had of course traveled to America with Artemis, he'd have been stupid not to. Butler would not let Artemis die again.

"Butler, we need to go on a road trip." Artemis called.

"Nowhere that's dangerous I hope." The body guard groaned as he stretched his aging limbs.

"Not this time old friend. I would go by myself but I seem to have forgotten how to operate an automobile. It might be a little dangerous to attempt the journey without that knowledge." Artemis chuckled.

The two climbed into the rented car and drove for the Green's home. When they arrived it was nearly six o'clock. Artemis got out and knocked on the door.

Mrs. Green answered the door. "Hello, can I help you?"

"I am one of your new neighbors; I'm also one of Nellie's classmates. I was wondering if you could recommend any good dinner places, my father is not a very good cook." Artemis smiled sheepishly.

"Why don't you eat with us? We were expecting guests but they canceled at the last moment." Mrs. Green smiled, "Plus I'd love to meet another homeschooling family."

Artemis thanked her and went to get his "father".

Nellie was setting the table and her mother told her to put out two more dishes.

"Why Mom? I thought that the Roberts canceled." Nellie asked, growing suspicious.

"A new homeschooling family moved in and they came over to ask about a restaurant. I invited them to join us instead." Mrs. Green said happily.

Nellie was about to ask who they were but then she stopped. What was that noise? An Irish accent! "Mom, you didn't!" Nellie whispered.

"Hello Nellie." Arthur said cheerily.

**A/N: Who thinks I should continue this story and who thinks I should throw it in my virtual garbage can? I need reviews to live! Come on people review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: For those of you who don't read my story The Odd Team: I will not be writing Fanfiction at all during the month of November. Sorry.**

**Disclaimer: No one would read Artemis Fowl if I wrote it. Like, duh! I don't own Artemis Fowl.**

Dinner was very stressful that evening. Artemis/Arthur sat next to Herald, Nellie's older brother. Herald was very sports oriented and as we know, Artemis was not. Mr. Green tried to chat about politics with Butler and Butler tried to tune him out. Nellie sat directly across from Artemis and glared at him the whole time. Jack and Gary, the youngest of the family, stared at the bulk of Butler and Kat tried to ignore Artemis, who was asking her about books.

"Listen, Arthur, I don't read that much. I only read really interesting books. If you want to talk about books then talk to Nellie." Kat finally burst out after a question about what her favorite book was.

Artemis glanced at Nellie. "I don't think it would be wise to talk to her at the moment."

"Oh for goodness sake! Talk to Herald then! I'm trying to eat!" Kat exclaimed.

"Certainly, I'm sorry for bothering you." Artemis rolled his eyes and turned to Herald, who was trying to see how many green beans he could stuff in his mouth. Artemis turned to Kat and shrugged. "He's busy."

Kat groaned and kneaded her eyes. This kid reminded her of Artemis Fowl. Kat had never actually read the books but she had glanced at the graphic novel and knew from Nellie's descriptions what Artemis was like.

"My favorite book is _The Tail of Emily Widsnap_! Is that what you wanted to know?" Kat hissed.

"I see. Have you ever read any books about fairies?"

"Ugh! I have not. My _sister_ is into fairies, not me!" Kat moaned.

"Have you ever read the Artemis Fowl series?" Artemis pressed.

"I know what goes on in the first book. The rest I know nothing about. It seemed good to me but I'm not really interested in fairies."

Artemis sighed. "Who is your favorite character in the first book?"

"Holly Short. She could totally kick Artemis'…"

"Ahem!" Mrs. Green interrupted.

"She's awesome." Kat mumbled.

Mrs. Green went back to talking with Butler and Mr. Green.

"Holly and Artemis are actually friends in the rest of the books." Artemis said.

"I thought you'd never read them." Nellie interjected.

"Well, you told me yourself that they became friends." Artemis lied.

"Did not! I told you Artemis dies in the end, not that he and Holly become friends."

"Hey! Mind saying 'spoiler alert' next time?" Herald, who had not finished the eighth book yet, exclaimed.

"You must not remember telling me, but you did." Even Nellie could not argue with this perfect lie. Artemis' body language and voice portrayed perfect innocence.

"Even lies like Fowl." Nellie muttered.

"Excuse me?" Artemis smirked.

"Nothing."

After dinner everyone went into the family room in the basement. Nellie went to the far side of the room and avoided Arthur. Kat tried to do the same, but Arthur followed her everywhere. Suddenly Arthur's phone rang.

"Pardon me, I have to take this." Artemis went upstairs. "Holly? What is it?"

"Have you found the girl yet? The council is pretty riled up about this." Holly asked.

"I have found her but I'm not sure if she is the one who called you."

"What's her name?"

"Her name is Katherine but her family calls her Kat." Artemis informed.

"It's her. She told me her name when she called. How are you doing up there?" Holly asked, growing concerned for her friend.

"I'm fine. Kat's older sister hates me and her parents love Butler. I… Aaah! What are you doing up here?" Artemis screeched.

Holly listened, in case Artemis was in trouble.

"I came up to make sure you weren't getting into anything you aren't supposed to be." Nellie said, her arms crossed as she leaned against the doorway.

"As you can see I am just talking on my phone." Artemis said, composing himself, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough." The girl growled.

Holly started to get worried.

"Who are you talking to?"

"My friend from Ireland, I haven't seen him in a long time." Artemis lied.

"It's a 'him' named 'Holly'?" Nellie raised an eyebrow.

"Did I say he? I meant her."

"Not even the great Artemis Fowl is that good of a liar." Nellie sneered.

Holly gasped from the other side of the line.

"I fooled you at the dinner table." Then what she had said registered, "My name is Arthur."

"Stop lying. Everything fits; you're Irish, you have a friend named Holly, dark hair, blue eyes, dresses formally, big body guard, and a good liar. You have two blue eyes and look to be about sixteen, which means you've already died. I'm not stupid." Nellie spat.

Holly moaned and started contacting mind wipe teams. It was going to be tough getting Artemis out of this one.

**A/N: Get your reviews in before November! Pretty please!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Ok, I'm getting this in just before November; this is my last update for any Fanfiction stories until December. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I know we don't have to put these on every chapter, but it might be bad for my health if I don't put this up. P.S. Butler is glaring at me!**

Artemis smiled cunningly at Nellie. She had read and reread the books enough times to know he was about to do something crafty. She guessed that she would end up looking like a fool.

_Why did I try to mess with Artemis Fowl? _Nellie thought glumly.

"So you've figured out who I am, have you? That's wonderful! You are not the dunce I first thought you to be!" Artemis smiled.

"Am I supposed to take that as a compliment?" Nellie snorted.

"Compared to how idiotic I first thought you were, yes, that was a compliment." Artemis was using his knowledge of psychology to his benefit. If his studies were correct Nellie would try to defend herself.

"Okay then. At least I'm not dead." Nellie sneered.

Artemis lost his cool for half a second but regained it quickly. "I suppose that is an advantage. You and I both know I cannot run. Therefore it would appear you have the upper hand."

Nellie frowned. "I suppose, but I assume you are about to tell me why I don't."

"Correct. You cannot tell anyone who I actually am for fear they will think you mad." Artemis explained.

Nellie smiled a genuine smile. "Wow, you really are Artemis Fowl! This is so cool!" Then she composed herself. "Excuse me; I'm just so excited to meet you!" Perhaps she didn't compose herself quite as much as I thought.

Artemis was silent because he didn't exactly know what to say. His phone started blinking; reminding him he still was having a conversation with Holly. "Sorry about that, Holly. It appears it was the older sister who 'pinged' you."

Nellie frowned. "I just thought of something. I'm gonna have to be mind wiped, aren't I?"

Artemis glanced at her. "That is the most likely outcome of this situation, yes."

"Aw man! I finally have something cool happen in my life and then I have to mind wiped because I know too much!" Her shoulders slumped and snuck a look at Artemis.

"If you're hoping that display of emotions will get you out of being mind wiped, think again. Holly send a team, I found the 'pinger'." Artemis said with a roll of his eyes.

"Wait, you think I pinged you?" Nellie said, her eyebrows furrowing. "I did no such thing!"

"Someone called Holly's phone. We traced the call here. At first we thought that your sister did it because the caller told us their name but it was easy to figure out who actually did it." Artemis shrugged.

"You seriously think I called Holly? Where would I even get her…?" Nellie paused. "Number."

"Good question, where did you get her number?" Artemis had of course seen the expression change on Nellie's face and heard her pause, a clear sign that she had thought of something. He also knew that in this state she might give away information without thinking about it.

"The book! Oh Kat how could you?!" Nellie hit her forehead, "I gotta go. Thanks for your help Arty!"

Before Artemis could even protest to being called Arty Nellie was back in the basement.

"What's going on Artemis?" Holly demanded.

"She has just realized something about her sister. Should I follow her?" Artemis asked, fully intending to do just that.

"Negative. Go find Butler and get out of there. Go back to your rented house and we'll sort this thing out over holographic chat." Holly sensed Artemis' longing to figure out what was going on right then. "Artemis, that is an order!"

"Of course Captain, though I would like to point out that you are not in charge of me and you sound very Julius like." Artemis knew Holly would not fall for it, but it wasn't like he was going into a war zone, and Opal was dead so there was not many enemies left to deal with.

"Thank you Artemis, but right now please just get out of there." Holly knew her human friend was about to disobey her.

Artemis hung up and went downstairs. He walked past Butler and over to the side of the room where the two Green sisters were conferring. Nellie saw him coming and snapped her jaw shut. Kat did not see the Irish teen approaching and kept talking.

"So they actually exist? That is so cool!" She saw her sister's expression and turned to see Artemis. "So this is what he looks like? Awesome! Is he still fragile from being dead or can I punch him?" Kat babbled excitedly.

"Let's not hit him just yet. Butler over there might snap our necks." Nellie grunted.

"I'd appreciate it if you kept your fists to yourself, Kat. Now, what have you realized about this 'ping' business?" Artemis questioned.

"I'm not telling you anything. You'll probably just have us mind wiped. I'm keeping it to myself." Nellie pretended to zip her lips closed.

"I was the one who 'pinged' you. Nellie found Holly's cell phone number in one of the books and I called it. I can't believe you couldn't figure that out. From what Nellie says you are the smartest person alive." Kat explained. Nellie clamped a hand over the ten year old's mouth.

"I see. So we'll need two mind wipes." Artemis said purely to scare them.

**A/N: I know it's kind of short, but I don't have a whole lot of time. Sorry folks! That's all from me until December!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey everyone! I'm back! Sorry November lasted, like, forever! I still checked on my favorite stories during November, but couldn't update. I didn't have a whole lot of time. Enjoy the latest installment of **_**The Day I Met Fowl**_**.**

**Disclaimer: I've missed saying this (not), I do not own Artemis Fowl! Mwahaha! It's good to be back!**

Nellie's jaw dropped. Even after her sister had given up the information they had, Artemis was still going to have them mind wiped! It was unbelievable!

"What?!" Nellie growled through gritted teeth.

"I don't remember, what's a mind wipe?" Kat asked innocently.

"Well, a LEP recon team will come up here, probably with field equipment, and use their machines to erase your memories." Artemis explained with a smirk.

Kat's hands flew to her face. "No way! I've got to write something down."

The girl ran over to Mrs. Green and asked for a pen and paper. Once she had received it she began to scribble something furiously.

"Writing down the past day's events will not help in the least. The recon team will shred it." Artemis chided.

Kat turned to him will saucer sized eyes. "You mean they won't even let me remember where I hid my piggy bank?" A tear rolled down her cheek. "Now I won't be able to buy the Super, Deluxe, Mega Barbie Dream House!" She wailed pitifully.

Artemis smacked his forehead and groaned. "No, you may record the whereabouts of your piggy bank."

Nellie glanced around. Her parents were chatting with Butler, who was tuning them out. Her three brothers were play Go-fish and Kat was sobbing and trying to write down the location of her money. Artemis was clearly enjoying it all.

"I can't believe this." Nellie muttered, glaring at Artemis.

Artemis turned to face her. "What was that?" Before he could say anything else Nellie's fist was connecting with his jaw. Artemis fell to the ground and rubbed his face, moaning.

Butler was up in a second, standing over Artemis. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Mr. and Mrs. Green were over as quickly as they could be. "Nellie! What did you do that for?!" Mrs. Green shrieked.

"Why is Katherine crying?" Mr. Green asked, putting a calming hand on his wife's shoulder.

"There was an, err, misunderstanding." Artemis grumbled from the floor, wiping a small dribble of blood from his chin. Butler helped him up.

"Yeah," Nellie agreed slowly, "I thought he insulted Kat because she was crying, so I punched him."

"Yes, it turned out Kat was crying because I accidently stepped on her doll." Artemis nodded.

Kat moaned and picked up her Beach Party Barbie, which had actually gotten stepped on, and cradled its broken face. "I'll go put Mandy away." The little girl sniffed.

Butler gave Artemis a puzzled look.

"Do not worry, um, Father, err, Dad, all is well." Artemis patted Butler on the back and the adults went back to the couch.

Herald ran over and high fived Nellie. "Awesome punch! No offense, dude, but you just got beat up by a girl!"

"I don't see how I should not take offense in that, but I shall ignore the matter for the moment. Nellie, you were telling me about how awful Tech is, would you please continue?" Artemis lied.

Herald walked away after being bored by the technical terms Nellie and Artemis were talking about.

"Why didn't you have Butler pulverized me?" Nellie asked suspiciously.

"Why did you punch me?" Artemis asked at the same time.

"Uh, sorry." Nellie apologized.

"About the interruption or hitting me?" Artemis asked.

Nellie shrugged. "Both? Actually no, I'm glad I hit you."

Artemis rolled his eyes. "To answer your question, I didn't have Butler 'pulverize' you because it would have blown our cover. It's quite simple."

"Back to the subject of mind wipes: Why are you going to have recon wipe us? It's like you said, if we tell anyone they'll think we're crazy." Nellie pointed out.

"It is not exactly my choice to make. Though the books make it look like I'm at the head of the operations, I cannot make a decision that may affect the People's existence in reality." Artemis shrugged.

Nellie scowled. "Okay then. Will I remember you Wednesday? Will you be at classes?"

"I'll let you know when you're going to be wiped so that you can write down any recent, irrelevant memories…" He stopped and thought for a moment.

"What now?"

"Now that I think about it, there is a very unlikely chance that you will be wiped at all." Artemis said briskly.

"Huh?"

"There are about sixty students at the Wednesday classes, correct? And maybe ten teachers. Plus there is our crazy neighbor lady with the security cameras and our land lord. That's a lot of variables."

"Variables? Please don't talk math, I'm not big on math talk." Nellie groaned.

"There are so many people who have spoken to us already that we couldn't possibly wipe all of them and have their normal lives continue. The wipe has… unpredictable affects. Things may go wrong, someone may say a keyword that will trigger a recollection of the lost memories and then a student may remember being wiped and wonder what happened. Eventually the United States Government will become involved and the existence of the People may go public." Artemis said as if he were at a business meeting.

Nellie's head was spinning but she understood most of it. "So in other words, we might not have to get wiped?"

Artemis nodded certainly.

**A/N: What do you think, SeeSea17? Did you like the punch? I hope you all liked this, I'm sorry if you want more. I may not be able to post for a couple of days, but I'll try. Hope this makes you happy every one!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Alrighty. I may just stop updating if I don't get some reviews. I got one since I updated. Let's review it people! (Not to be mean.)**

**Disclaimer: I shall not ever own the wonderful book series known as Artemis Fowl! (So please don't pulverize me Butler!)**

Nellie hugged Artemis. She just randomly hugged him. He gasped and Mr. and Mrs. Green laughed. Butler's eyes bulged and Nellies brothers started chanting: "Nellie and Arthur sitting in a tree…" Nellie shot them a glare and they shut up.

"I'm really sorry about that!" Nellie whispered, "You mean we seriously don't have to be mind wiped?"

"I'm fairly certain, yes." Artemis nodded, blushed, and brushed some lint off of his suit jacket.

"That is awesome! Do you think that I could…?" Nellie started.

"Meet Holly? No, that is probably not a good idea." Artemis interrupted.

Nellie frowned. "Oh well, at least my life was spiced up for a day! I must say, it was a pleasure meeting you, Master Fowl."

"Likewise, Miss Green." Artemis said curtly, "Now that we know you aren't dangerous I shall be returning to Ireland and you are free to continue with your life."

Nellie was disappointed for a moment but remembered that she always had the books. This comforted her a little. "So, when do you leave?"

"Attending one or two more classes might be necessary to maintain my cover, but I shall be leaving soon after that." Artemis briskly decided, "There is one more thing." He said hesitantly.

"Yes?" Nellie asked hopefully.

"I need to know which of the books you found Holly's phone number in so that I can have it removed or replaced."

Nellie sighed. "Of course. I believe it was in…" Before she could continue the basement window shattered.

Butler jumped from the couch and ran to the window. A van sped away into the night, leaving a small device amongst the broken glass. Nellie bent down to inspect it. Artemis tried to pull her back but it was too late. The device squirted a blue spray in Nellie's face and she fell over, unconscious.

Mr. and Mrs. Green ran to their daughter's side and felt for a pulse. They found one and sighed.

"What is going on here?" Mr. Green thundered.

"I don't know!" Artemis coughed. The spray was turning to steam and spreading around the room.

There was rumbling and suddenly a hole opened in the floor.

"Mulch?!" Artemis gasped.

A dirty hand grabbed Nellie, pulled her down the hole and scurried away. The hole filled behind the dwarf.

"Artemis? Are you okay?" Butler called, fumbling in the steam, which had gotten much thicker. The large man was trained for battle, sneak attacks, and was immune to most sleeping gases, but even he did not have x-ray vision. Finding his charge was a struggle in the dense blue steam.

"I'm fine!" Artemis sputtered. He had inhaled too much of the blue steam and felt himself going unconscious.

Most of the Greens were already snoring softly. Butler was the only one left awake and he was determined to protect his principal, it might have been easier if he could have _seen_ his principal.

**A/N: Ooh! Spooky! What on earth is Mulch doing? Or is it some other dwarf? What's going on with the spray? Why would anyone want to kidnap Nellie? So many question that I have to answer! You'll only find out what happens if you review! **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Before I write anything I'd like to remind you that I only got **_**one**_** review! (Thank you artemisfowl18.) Come on people! If you want me to write I'm going to need motivation!**

**Disclaimer: After this I will no longer me putting disclaimers on my stories. *Butler cocks gun* Forget what I just wrote, I don't own Artemis Fowl!**

When Nellie woke up she was in some sort of vehicle that smelled worse than dirty diapers and had a small furry man driving it. She was gagged and tied to the passenger seat. She was scared beyond belief and sweating. The driver glanced over at her and she pretended to still be unconscious.

"Wake up Sleeping Beauty!" The driver said in a deep, gruff voice.

Nellie flickered her eyes open as if she had just woken up. She struggled to speak through the gag.

"Here, let me fix that." The driver grabbed the gag and pulled. The fabric ripped, taking some of Nellie's mud-brown hair with it.

"Watch out!" Nellie screamed. The driver had used both hands to pull off the gag and now the wheel was spinning. An oncoming truck honked loudly and the driver of the van Nellie was in swerved out of the way, barely avoiding being crushed.

"Where did you learn to drive, dude?" Nellie asked, incredulous.

"The internet." The driver grunted happily.

"Maybe you should let me drive!" Nellie yelped, gripping her seat.

"You're tied up and you don't know where we're going." The driver smiled at her revealing tombstone teeth.

She gasped. "Mulch Diggums!"

"The one and only! How do you know me kid?" Mulch sneered.

"Um, I'm with the LEP?" Nellie tried.

"A Mud Girl with the LEP? I don't think so. Those books may portray me as idiotic, but I ain't stupid."

"Actually, in the books you're quite witty." Nellie informed him.

"Really? Well, they got that right!" Mulch grinned, avoiding a large bus full of children.

Nellie grunted as a reply and looked out the windows. It looked like early morning, but Mulch was driving so fast it could have been evening too.

"Where are we going?" Nellie questioned.

"Wouldn't you like to know?!" Mulch chuckled and then burped.

"So you aren't going to tell me? Will you tell me why I'm here?" Nellie gave him a puppy-dog look that had absolutely no effect.

"Let me think…" Mulch started.

"No." They both said at the same time.

Mulch chuckled. "I like you, Mud Girl."

"My name is Nellie." Nellie said unhappily.

"I know."

"And how do you know, Mr. Diggums?"

"My employer told me."

Nellie pondered this for a moment. "Will you tell me who you work for?"

Mulch scratched his chin and let the steering wheel swing freely for a minute before he regained control. "I don't think it would be very good for our health, Mud Girl." The kleptomaniac winked.

"Fine, don't call me Nellie, _convict_." Nellie spat venomously.

"For your information, I am no longer a convict! I have not broken the law since, um, well, let's say I haven't been _caught_ breaking the law since Atlantis." Mulch smirked.

Nellie decided to shut up since every time she opened her mouth she got an awful taste that ranked somewhere between dead, rotting skunk and hot, dirty baby diapers.

Mulch didn't talk either, which disappointed Nellie greatly. She would have loved to hear some of the things her favorite character from the series would say.

It took a few hours but eventually they pulled up in front of a large house. The front door was painted bright blue with a golden emblem Nellie couldn't quite make out. Mulch put handcuffs on her hands and cut the ropes with a small knife.

Nellie inspected the handcuffs closely. These weren't toys, she soon discovered, they were electronically locked and carried the brand mark of Opal Koboi. She asked Mulch about it.

"Eh, Koboi might have been an enemy but that doesn't mean her tech was lousy. Besides, it's easier to Koboi stuff cheap ever since the, uh, incident." Mulch told her warily.

"But didn't anything Opal effect, like, explode when the past her died?" Nellie grilled him.

"Really? Did that Colfer guy write that? Never heard that one before." Mulch laughed.

Nellie couldn't believe it. Some of the stuff from the books wasn't true? She'd have to find out exactly what was fiction and what was truth.

"Hey, I meant to ask Artemis this but since I was so rudely interrupted last night I never got the chance." Nellie started.

"What? If you want to know if he has a date to prom I do not know." Mulch guffawed.

Nellie blushed and felt like gagging. "No, no! That's not it at all! Besides, I'm only fourteen, I don't date. I wanted to ask why he told all of the stuff that happened to Eoin Colfer. Wouldn't the People be really upset about that?"

"The council was okay with it because Mr. Colfer has some fairy blood. Don't ask me what species. He pretty much knew about Haven from family history so the council was okay with it until they found out he was publishing everything. When it got put in the fiction section they forgot about it. Arty likes to call Colfer his biographer." Mulch explained, while grabbing some things out of the back of the van.

"Please tell me what type of fairy Eoin Colfer is related to! It would make a great Fanfiction story!" Nellie pleaded.

"He's part goblin." Mulch whispered.

Nellie gasped. "No way! That is so weird! Isn't that insulting?"

Mulch shrugged. "As a dwarf I'd say yes, as any other type of fairy, probably not. Goblins may not have gotten many brains when they were dished out but they are quite athletic. Plus I think it's kind of a rumor. How could anyone write my life story so brilliantly and be related to a goblin?"

Nellie giggled but then realized that they were at the door of the massive house. She frowned nervously. "Am I going to be killed for knowing too much? Did Artemis arrange for a team of dwarfs to kidnap me to kill me so that he didn't have to bother with a mind wipe?" Nellie choked.

Mulch laughed. "Hardly! This operation is definitely not run by young Arty." He opened the door to reveal the hustle and bustle of a large dwarf community. Nellie glanced at the emblem on the door and saw that it was in the shape of a dwarf surrounded by gold and the different species of fairies.

"What is this place?" Nellie gasped.

"Welcome to the Dwarf House!" Mulch announced grandly.

"Wow." Was all Nellie could say.

**A/N: Who do you think the boss is? If you want to know then you have to review! **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey ya'll! I'm back! I just sent out a PM to some of my more loyal reviewers saying I wouldn't be able to update for a while, but then I realized I had a tiny amount of free time so here goes nothing!**

**Disclaimer: We all know I don't own Artemis Fowl. *I roll my eyes***

Artemis clung to his chair as Butler drove as fast as it was physically possible to do in a Bentley. Let us just say that Artemis was a tad paler than usual, if that is possible.

"Butler, I want to find Nellie and Mulch as much as you do, but you really must slow down!" Artemis yelled at his bodyguard.

Butler slowed down a little as they pulled onto the interstate. Driving on the right side of the road was a bit confusing for the large man, being European as he was. Artemis was about to heave a sigh of relief when he realized that the miles per hour they were traveling was still well above the hundred mark. A quick glance at the speedometer told the Irish lad that the vehicle could get up to 230 mph, he swallowed hard.

"Butler, slow down! There are police cars up ahead!" Artemis noted frantically.

Butler slowed the Bentley to the pace the law requested and Artemis was able to get a glimpse of a large pile up on the other side of the freeway.

"Wait, I want to inquire about the cause of this wreck." Artemis rolled down his window as Butler pulled over. "Pardon me, officer?" Artemis called in the best American accent he could muster.

"If yar 'ondering 'at happened, I'm 'fraid I can't tell ya." The officer scowled.

Artemis switched back to his normal voice. "I am an Irish private investigator on the hunt for a criminal. We have reason to believe he came this way and caused this collision."

The officer smiled at him as one smiles at a young child. "Oh? You a PI? Ya look a little young fer that. Can I see yar badge?"

Artemis flipped through a few papers in the secret slot next to him and pulled out a "PI's" badge, pilfered of course.

The officer's jaw dropped when he saw it, allowing chewed donut crumbs to fall out of his spacious mouth. "Let me check with the captain."

A portly man approached Artemis' vehicle and held out his hand. "May I take a look at your badge?"

Artemis' eyes narrowed but he handed it over. "As you can see, it is an Irish private investigator's badge."

"It's a PI's badge alright, just not yours." The captain smirked.

Artemis didn't hesitate to snap back: "And what evidence do you have of this accusation?"

"In any country you must be eighteen to be an official PI. Sure you can consult before that, but you wouldn't have a badge if you were as young as you are. Unless you're gonna show me some proof of being eighteen." The officer retorted.

Artemis had already reached into a secret compartment to grab a false ID. He couldn't remember if he had left one in there, since his memory wasn't the greatest at the moment, but he knew that he would have left something for situations such as this. He felt a gun, that wouldn't help much. He flipped through some papers and finally found a driver's license for an eighteen year old private investigator. Any older would have been pushing his luck.

He held the false identification out to the officer and smiled his signature vampire smile. "Are my papers in order, Captain?"

"He's got a picture and everything, boss." The first officer commented.

"Alright, I'll tell you what happened; it'll be on the news tonight anyway. Some drunken fool drove down the wrong side of the freeway and caused quite a wreck. If you know him bring him in so I can snap the cuffs on myself." The captain muttered.

"Was anyone hurt?" Artemis inquired.

"The driver of that semi broke his nose and the young lady over there keeps reminding us that she chipped a nail and will sue because she had just gotten her nails done for fifty bucks." The captain rolled his eyes, "Nothing too serious."

Artemis nodded; glad Mulch hadn't gotten an innocent American killed over his bad driving. "Thank you officers, I shall be taking my leave now. Oh, and a tip for finding this person, he wasn't drunk, he was driving at his best, believe me."

Butler pulled the Bentley back onto the road and sped away before the first officer could slap a speeding ticket into his hand as he had been meaning to do.

The captain scratched his head and sipped his coffee. "Those Irish…"

"Americans…" Artemis grumbled at the same moment.

**A/N: What do you think? Did you like it? I know it wasn't very satisfying but I don't have time to update for a while! Catch ya later alligator!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry for not thanking all of my faithful reviewers in the last chapter! I really love reviews and when I get a new one I feel like I'm floating. Don't you just love that feeling? Anyway, thanks so much to artemisfowl18, MoonWatersLight, Juliegirl22, and irisgoddess for your continued support! I would also like to thank anyone whose penname I don't know, but you reviewed. Geesh, I'm acting like I won an Oscar… On with the story!**

**Disclaimer: If you asked me who owned Artemis Fowl I would jump up and say "Me!" Then Butler would crack his knuckles and I would sit down in fear. Eoin Colfer owns the wonderful series, not I.**

Mulch led Nellie into the Dwarf House and into a large room, which resembled a waiting lounge. Nellie saw dwarfs everywhere, all of them staring at her. She assumed that they thought it was weird for a Mud Girl to be in such a sacred dwarf place. She couldn't know the reason was that her hair was in such a strange state that every dwarf there thought she was a tall one of them.

"Wait here until I've had a word with the boss. Darleen, the dwarf at the bar over there, will keep an eye on you." Mulch said, gesturing to the first female dwarf Nellie had ever seen. She self-consciously waved at Darleen, who stared at her.

"All of these chairs are too small for me." Nellie commented. "Can't you see that I'm 5' 9" teenage girl? I'm not going to fit in chairs built for 3-footers."

Mulch grunted and shrugged, heading off for a hallway. Nellie watched him go and sighed. Who'd have thought meeting Mulch Diggums would have been so boring? Nellie was greatly disappointed.

Around the room there were many decorations. Seven pictures of dwarfs in suits hung in a row with a sign, in Gnommish, above them. Nellie had found the decoder for Gnommish online and could make out a few letters from memory.

"I can't believe they put Gnommish letters online!" She whispered to herself, "That seems kind of dangerous." After a flip through her mental filing cabinet she decoded all of the sign. "The founding fathers of the Dwarf House."

Nellie looked around some more and found some fruit in a basket. She looked to Darleen. "Can I eat this?"

Darleen was talking with a gruff looking dwarf but nodded her head in Nellie's direction. Nellie picked up an apple and was about to bite into it when the dwarf Darleen had been talking to tackled her.

Having a dwarf tackle you is not one of the coveted happenings in a life time. Dwarfs are very dense despite their height and can knock over a full grown female troll if they've had a good running start. Unfortunately for Nellie this dwarf had run across the room before he jumped. Nellie was bashed into the wall.

"Ouch!" Nellie said, shoving the dwarf off of her, "What was that for?"

The dwarf dusted himself off and offered his hand to help her up. Nellie batted it away and stood on her own.

"My apologies miss." The dwarf grunted in a British accent, "I don't know what Darleen was thinking when she said you could have a piece of fruit! My name is Bill Beau."

"Bilbo? Like in Lord of the Rings or Hobbit or whatever?" Nellie asked, teetering a bit from her crash.

"Not Bilbo! Bill, as in William. Beau, as in French for handsome or boyfriend." Bill corrected her.

"Okay. I'm, uh, Green." Nellie muttered, feeling rather dizzy.

Bill chuckled lightly. "Maybe you should sit down, because you do look a little green."

"Right!" Nellie spun in a circle, "Which way is down?"

Bill led her over to a chair and helped her sit down. "Darleen! Bring me a glass of water."

Darleen brought over some water and handed it to Nellie, who took it and stared at it for a few minutes. Bill sighed and pushed it to her mouth. Nellie spluttered and choked for a second or two until Bill patted her on the back.

"Thanks!" Nellie coughed. "I'm sorry. I think I hit my head when you tackled me. I'm not feeling the greatest and I'm seeing, like, ten of you."

Bill turned around and saw that nine dwarfs were standing behind him. "No, you only see one of me, but there are nine other dwarfs here. What did you say your name was?"

Nellie took a swallow of water. "Green, Nellie Green."

"Lovely. Might I ask why you are in the House of Dwarfs with a pair of Koboi handcuffs on? Or is that a fashion statement?" Bill smiled; revealing his large, dwarf teeth.

"Um, I don't know why I'm here exactly. The cuffs? Mulch put them on and forgot to take them off or something."

"Mulch? As in Mulch Diggums? Is that old dog here? I really must talk to the chap!" Bill grinned.

"Yeah, Mulch Diggums. The guy kidnapped me and then drove me here, wherever 'here' is and snapped these handcuffs on me like I was some sort of criminal." Nellie griped.

"Hmm, the boss must have told him too. It's rare Mulch ever goes on missions, he mainly comes here because of the barbeque, but he did for the boss. Captain White must be paying him a lot of cash for Mulch to kidnap someone." Bill tapped his chin thoughtfully and his beard hair wiggled.

Nellie stared. "That is _so_ awesome! I read about that, but it is so much cooler in real life!"

Bill smiled. "Put your finger near it."

Nellie obliged and the beard wrapped around her finger. "Whoa! That is amazing! It feels like it is alive!"

"That's because it is! Human hair might just be dead weight, but dwarf hair actually makes its keep." Bill laughed.

Mulch came down the hallway and saw Nellie talking to Bill. "Hey Mud Girl! Get away from Billy, he's bad news."

Nellie jerked away from Bill and spotted Mulch. "Why?"

"He owes me some money." Mulch grumbled.

"Well _he_ is very polite. You could learn a thing or two from him." Nellie scolded.

Mulch rolled his eyes. "Whatever. If Bill isn't gonna give me my cash then let's go. Captain White want's you in the office."

"Nice to meet you, Miss Green. Please refrain from eating any fruit in this place. It's not a good idea for humans." Bill gave a little wave as Mulch lead Nellie down the hall and up a grand staircase.

Mulch took Nellie to the top of the stairs and to the right down another hallway. At the end of the hall there was a door with a bronze plate on a blue door. On the plate, under the emblem that was the same as the one on the front door, were the words "Captain White, Commander and Chief". Mulch opened the door to an office.

At the desk there was a person, not facing them, in a chair. Nellie could tell from behind that it was a human man with dark hair. He raised a hand and waved them in. It was a _very_ pale hand.

"Artemis?" Nellie gasped.

**A/N: Dun Dun Dun! Artemis is the leader? But how can he be driving towards the Dwarf house and be there? Spooky, huh? You only get find out what's going on if I get at least four reviews! **


	12. Chapter 12 (sorry for the wait)

**Disclaimer: Butler is holding a baseball bat and one can only imagine what kind of damage he can do with that so I DO NOT own Artemis Fowl. "Does that satisfy you, big guy?" Butler just grunted and I'm freaking out!**

"Artemis?" Nellie gasped.

The chair swiveled around so its occupant was facing Nellie. "No, not Artemis, thank goodness. Do you know how annoying it is to be constantly confused with that little stinkworm?"

Nellie was face-to-face with the most handsome young man she had ever seen. His coal black hair played delicately across his brow and his skin was as pale as snow. His lips were red, which might have made him look feminine if not for his strong jawline. **(I just read that line somewhere I can't remember.)**

"Uh, sorry dude." Nellie stuttered.

"You must be Cornelia Green." The man continued with a roll of his eyes.

"Uh," She shook her head to clear it, "I prefer Nellie."

Mulch coughed awkwardly. "There is a third person in this room who is missing some money in his wallet."

The young man, who looked to be about sixteen, smiled at Mulch. Nellie noted that it wasn't a cruel smile like Artemis', but sort of more understanding. "Of course Mr. Diggums. Might I say that you did an excellent job on this mission? I don't believe Fowl will be finding his little girlfriend anytime soon."

Nellie scowled. "Seriously dude? I'm _not_ Artemis Fowl's girlfriend. That's just a sick thought! I'm only fourteen!"

The man turned to her. "My apologies, Miss Green. I shouldn't have assumed."

"Now you even sound like Artemis." Nellie whispered.

The young man glowered.

"Wow, you two could be twins right now. Same frown!" Nellie tittered.

It was true; Artemis and this boy looked very similar. It was mainly the pale skin and hair that did it, but some facial expressions were identical.

"I am Captain White, owner of the Dwarf House." Captain White grunted, changing the subject.

"You don't look like a dwarf." Nellie commented.

"No, but the Dwarf House has been owned by humans since it started. My great-great-great-great-great grandmother owned it first and it's been in my family ever since."

Nellie pushed her glasses back into place and looked him over, trying to think of whom this guy reminded her of. "Have you been in any movies?"

"No. I have basically lived here all my life in case you're thinking that I'm one of your neighbors from Iowa." Captain White droned.

Nellie was going to make a witty remark at this but all of her thoughts scattered when what he said sank in. "We're not in Iowa?" She gasped.

"No. The Dwarf House is located in Michigan, not too far away, don't worry." Captain White comforted her.

"Michigan?! My parents will never find me here!" Nellie wailed.

Captain White scratched his chin thoughtfully. "It's funny that you'd expect your parents to find you but not Artemis Fowl."

"Well yeah, I'm still having trouble contemplating the fact that he's real! Besides, I trust my parents _way_ more than I trust him. They'll call the police or something. Hire a private investigator, maybe." Nellie declared.

"How do you know that they didn't hire Arty? He's a PI." Mulch said around some type of food in his mouth.

"They think he's some high school kid named Arthur." Nellie told him matter-of-factly.

"I'm sure your sister told them who he was." Mulch grumbled over what appeared to be a severely mutilated orange.

"She has a sister who knows about the People?!" Captain White choked.

Mulch swallowed. "Was I supposed to get her too? My bad."

"Well we can't go back, Artemis will be expecting us, and I don't particularly want to have another run in with his mountain of a bodyguard. Maybe the authorities will take her claims as the mad rants of a traumatized little girl." Captain White shrugged.

"You sure you aren't Artemis' brother?" Nellie asked, "Cause that sounded an awful lot like something he'd say."

The young man muffled his exasperated moans with his hand. "No. I am in no way related to that little twerp!"

"Little? So you're older than him. How old are you?" Nellie smiled sweetly.

"I am sixteen, so technically he is older than me." The captain informed her.

"Wait, Artemis is only sixteen." Nellie reminded him.

"Physically, but remember he was missing for three years." Mulch burped.

"Oh yeah! Sorry, I haven't read that one in a while." Nellie nodded, remembering _The Lost Colony_.

Nellie was about to ask why she was there when a loud _bang_ sounded from the first floor.

"They've found us!" Captain White exclaimed, "How did they get here so fast?"

Mulch chuckled nervously, "I kind of left a trail of destruction for them to follow…"

"Yeah, he drove like a maniac." Nellie commented dryly, "But saying that would be offensive to maniacs' driving skills."

"Mr. Diggums, hide the girl. I'll deal with the brat downstairs." The captain declared.

Mulch shrugged and grabbed Nellie's handcuffed wrist. "Follow me."

**A/N: Does anyone have guesses as to who Captain White is? Or who he's related to? (hint, hint) I **_**promise**_** that I will update soon. You know, if school doesn't get in the way…**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I seriously can't believe that NO ONE guessed who Captain White is related to! Well, I may just leave you in suspense about that particular mystery until someone guesses it. *grins sinisterly* Let's see if a few more clues will help you. Oh yeah, thanks to everyone who reviewed, I loved receiving those! **

**Disclaimer: *looks around in a terrified manner* "I own Artemis Fowl!" I whisper. *Growl from behind me* "I, uh, actually I don't own Artemis Fowl!" *Butler grins in a creepy way***

Mulch dragged Nellie to a wall.

"You do realize there is nothing over here, right?" Nellie droned sarcastically.

Mulch licked the orange juice from his fingers and tapped seven times on the wall. "Ah-choo!" Mulch whispered.

"Uh, bless you?" Nellie asked, wondering if that was a bizarre sneeze or the password.

The wall creaked and swung open to reveal a hiding place stashed with tissues. Mulch shoved Nellie in and closed the door part way. Before he shut it completely he glared at her. "Don't make a peep, or else!"

Nellie mimed zipping her lips closed and throwing away the key. "Not a word!"

Mulch closed the door and Nellie heard it lock.

On the first floor of the Dwarf House quite a commotion was going on. The dwarfs were mainly running in fear from the man-mountain that had broken the door down. Bill, the dwarf that had tackled Nellie, was trying to hide under the bar with no success.

The man-mountain grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and turned him around to face him. Bill covered his face. "Please don't eat me! I'm just a poor British dwarf! I've got a family to go back to!"

"Where is the girl?" Butler, for of course it was he, growled.

"W-what girl?" Bill shuddered.

"You know very well which girl my body guard is speaking of. Perhaps you could be so kind as to tell us where my old friend Dirt took her." Artemis smiled, stepping over the remains of the door.

"Dirt? I don't know anyone named Dirt." Bill said truthfully.

Butler snarled. "He didn't say Dirt, he said Mulch."

Artemis frowned at his poor memory. How could he have forgotten Mulch's name?

"Right! Of course he did! Do you mean my old chum Diggums? Mulch took some human teenager up to the boss. Second floor, third door to the right. The door has got a plaque on it." Bill spilled.

Butler set him down and took a step toward the staircase. Artemis put a hand on his arm. "I believe the leader of this place will be descending a secret staircase any moment with a couple of dwarf assassins. Perhaps we should wait."

Butler shrugged. "Where do you think they'll come out?"

Artemis pointed to an area of the wall that seemed to bulge a little more than the rest. "The most likely spot for a secret entrance is over there. There is no furniture, in that area, the wall is the back wall to the bar, and it bulges."

Butler positioned himself to spring on anyone that came from the wall. There was a creak that sounded very much like a door opening and the wall was pushed away to reveal a teenage boy and four dwarfs dressed in colors that matched the wallpaper perfectly.

The boy looked around, not spotting Butler and Artemis yet, and stepped out. He was wearing an outfit that resembled some kind of military uniform. Artemis recognized him instantly, but from where he could not recall.

"Search the house until you find them." The boy hissed to one of the dwarfs.

"That won't be necessary." Artemis gave a little wave to the boy, "Unless you are blind then you can clearly see that I am right here, but perhaps you were in search of another?"

The boy scowled at Artemis and strode over to him. "Fowl, believe me when I say it is not a pleasure to see you again."

"Forgive me, but I am having a hard time recalling your name or from where I know you." Artemis gave him a vampire smile and extended his hand, "It is rather embarrassing since you obviously know me."

The boy refused to shake Artemis' hand. "It is odd that you cannot remember who I am since you swore you'd eventually hunt me down."

"Hmm, you see, I'm having a bit of trouble in the memory department since an accident." Artemis shrugged.

The other boy cocked a brow. "Oh? Care to elaborate?"

"Perhaps we could discuss a few things in your office? It would be more private then this area." Artemis gestured to the secret staircase.

The boy lead the group up the stairs and into his office.

Nellie heard someone enter the room she had been in before Mulch put her in the secret room. She put her ear to the door and listened.

"Please, take a seat." Captain White said.

Nellie wondered to whom he was talking. There was the sound of chairs scrapping on the hard wood floor and then voices again.

"Would you mind introducing yourself now?" Artemis' voice asked.

Nellie smiled, Artemis Fowl had come looking for _her_. Or maybe he had simply come to settle a score with Captain White; they seemed to have some history. Either way, Nellie was glad someone was there that she knew.

"They call me Captain White." The captain stated.

Artemis chuckled and said something Nellie couldn't make out.

"You don't know how close to home you hit." Captain White grunted.

"Interesting. Now, would you mind telling me how we know each other? As I said, I'm having a little trouble with my memory of late." Artemis asked.

"First tell me why you can't remember and then I'll tell you how I know you." Captain White told him.

"It is a little complicated, but if you insist. A deranged pixie was trying to destroy the human population of the earth with an ancient army. Her plan failed and, well, I died." Artemis informed the other boy.

"You what?!" Captain White exclaimed. Nellie could almost see his eyes widening in shock.

"I reversed the spell so that it would kill all of the fairies in the proximity. Unfortunately, I had a fairy eye and the magic killed me."

"But, you, what? Huh?" Captain White blubbered.

"I'm assuming you have heard of cloning?" Artemis asked.

"It's illegal." Captain White recollected.

"Yes. Foaly, a technical adviser for the LEP grew a clone that resembled me and my spirit floated into it. Some of my more irrelevant memories were lost in the transition." Artemis explained. Nellie could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Are you saying I am irrelevant?" Captain White asked calmly.

"Apparently." Artemis shrugged.

"Very well." The other boy said nervously, "Let me tell you how we met…"

**A/N: Any guesses? Guess anything! By the way, you can vote for what Captain White's first name will be on my page. It may give you another clue. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Well, there was a guess as to who Cpt. White is, but I'm afraid you guessed wrong my friend. I'll give you all one more chance, but next chapter he's going to be revealed. Please vote on his first name on my poll!**

**Disclaimer: **

**Holly: Why aren't I in this story?**

**Me: You were, in the beginning. **

**Holly: That's all I get?**

**Me: Until I decide otherwise, who knows, you might make an appearance in this chapter.**

**Holly (grumbling): Just say it.**

**Me: I don't own Artemis Fowl, which means I don't have to put Miss Short in if I don't want to.**

***Holly tackles me***

Artemis smiled smugly at Cpt. White. "Please, do tell."

"Hmm, perhaps it would not be wise to." Cpt. White murmured, glancing at Butler.

"It's that bad?" Artemis laughs, "When did we meet?"

"You were fourteen, talking about stealing some painting."

"Ah, that must have been when I was preparing to steal the _Fairy Thief_. A friend has told me about that time. Believe me when I say I have changed since that time." Artemis smiled, taking pleasure in being able to remember something.

"Changed? How?"

"At the time we met I had forgotten all of my dealings with the People, a mind wipe you see. After that particular misadventure I stopped working purely for gold, hence a better personality."

Cpt. White looked skeptical, but nodded his head. "Alright then. Before I tell you…"

Artemis shook his finger at the other boy. "No more delay. Tell me and then you can ask whatever you wish or vies-versa."

Cpt. White frowned and opened his mouth to speak.

From the secret panel Nellie overheard most of the conversation between the boys. Some of it was too quiet to make out through the thick walls. She listened to the story Cpt. White began to tell.

"We met at Saint Bartleby's at the time I was three years younger than you at eleven years old. I was the new kid." The captain scowled, "Some genius decided that it would be a good idea for the new students to have a 'buddy' to show them around, guess who my buddy was."

Artemis laughed. "I'm starting to remember. Principal Guiney set up that rule purely to annoy me after I embarrassed him at a certain school assembly."

"Oh so that's why. Anyway, we started off as friends, but things changed…

'_Good day, you must be Artemis, I am…' an eleven year old Cpt. White smiled extending his hand to the older boy._

'_A young boy whom I do not care for in the least; apparently I am to show you around for your first couple of weeks. Please follow me to your first class.' The fourteen year old Artemis interrupted snootily._

'_I thought we had the same classes.'_

_Artemis chuckled maliciously. 'My classes are far to advanced for you!'_

'_Oh. Well, what's my first class?'_

'_Science. The course is taught by one of the most idiotic teachers in this place. Mr. Bugle. To survive the boredom the best place to sit is third row, fourth seat from the right. You'll see why.'_

_In the class Captain sat exactly where Artemis told him to and soon found a source of amusement in the dull class. The seat had a small ear-bud tapped to the bottom. Captain inserted it into his ear and covered his mouth to suppress giggles._

_The device had a sound track that inserted words into the teacher's mouth. _

'_Just so you all know I am wearing my underwear backwards.' Was one of the many phrases._

_The builder of this device had a remarkable sense of humor and somehow incorporated the key points of the lesson into the track. Young Cpt. White couldn't believe it. By the end of class the boy was having so much fun that he was disappointed that it was over. Next he had lunch with Artemis._

'_That track was hilarious! You are brilliant!' Captain told Artemis._

'_So I'm told, but I cannot take credit for this certain prank. A boy that graduated several years ago recorded the track and left it there for anyone lucky enough to sit there. I always found his sense of humor far too crude for my liking, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.' Artemis took a bite of his caviar._

'_Thanks for telling me about it. I wouldn't have survived without it.' _

'_I'm sure you would have, but I understand your meaning. What is your next class?'_

_The younger boy looked at his schedule. 'History.'_

_Artemis scratched his chin thoughtfully. 'Today is a Tuesday, you'll most likely be learning about a war. If the teacher calls on you always answer, even if you don't know. Hesitators get detention.'_

"And so the day continued with you giving me helpful pointers whenever I saw you. When it came time for PE I was surprised you were in my class…" Captain White smirked.

Artemis crossed his arms and "harrumphed". "Let's not go into detail about that particular class."

Nellie smiled as she heard Butler snort. She had been enjoying the story about how captain White met Artemis Fowl, but she hoped he would get to the part where they hated each other or where something exciting happened.

_This would make an excellent Fanfiction story!_ Nellie thought.

"Please get to the important part, Captain. I do not have the time to stay here and listen to pleasant children's stories." Artemis sneered.

"Okay, the important part was that I stole your money." Captain White grinned.

Artemis coughed. "I beg your pardon?"

"The day it happened was the best and worst day of my life…

'_Morning, Artemis!' Younger Captain White smiled._

'_Good morning.' Artemis mumbled, fiddling with an object in his locker. 'Perhaps you could take your stupidity elsewhere for the moment.'_

_Captain stepped back, offended. 'Whoa, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning! No need to be so rude.'_

_Artemis glared. 'Shut up!'_

_Captain stuck his hands in his school uniform pockets and shuffled around nervously. 'Okay.'_

_Artemis tapped away on his laptop that was concealed in his locker._

'_Artemis! Unless you're doing something for a class it's against the rules to use a laptop in the school!' Captain gasped, his eyes wide._

'_Rules were made to be broken and silence is golden.' Artemis spat._

_Captain sniffled and looked at Artemis with his best innocent look. 'What are you doing anyway?'_

_Artemis groaned and closed his laptop. 'I _was_ arranging a trip to Germany for certain nefarious reasons, but it is time for class and you have stopped me from being successful.'_

'_I-I'm sorry Artemis.' Captain stuttered, surprised by his friend's sudden hatred._

'_You may have just stopped me from becoming the youngest person to steal a very valuable painting. I hope your precious conversation was worth it.' The older boy shouldered his bag and walked off._

_For the rest of the day Artemis would not talk to Captain. When he did it was venomous words that came from his mouth. _

'_Artemis, I'm sorry about earlier," Captain pleaded with his mentor._

_Artemis spun to face him and scowled so hard that the younger boy cowered. 'I cannot expect a poor idiot like you to understand the complex planning I have put into this project. If you wish to remain living I suggest you never show your face around me again. Goodbye.'_

"After you called me a 'poor idiot' I planned revenge. Apparently you had made quite an impression on me. I hacked into your bank account, which was surprisingly easy, and transferred about a million to my own account. You found out of course and threatened me with Butler. I moved back to the USA, but not before you told me that you would hunt me down and get back every penny." Captain White finished.

"Hmm…" Artemis thought for a minute before speaking. "That is very interesting. How did you come to know the People?"

"My family has been very close to the dwarfs ever since my great-great-great-great-great grandmother came to this house and met the seven founding dwarfs." Captain White answered with a shrug.

"Do you still have the money?"

"Very little is left. I spent a lot on making this place available to all of the dwarfs across the globe."

"That's what I expected. No worries, I won't do anything to you. I have one more question." Artemis crossed his arms and stared at the other boy.

"Y-yesssss?" Captain White answered, knowing what was coming. He managed to not stare at a secret door in the wall.

"Where is Nellie Green?"

**A/N: Hope you guys liked it! The backstory didn't go exactly as planned but it wasn't too bad if I do say so myself. Please do these things: Vote on Cpt. White's name, review, make guesses at Cpt.'s identity, and prepare yourself for the next epic chapter! :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I know it's been a while. I know I left you with a cliff hanger. And there is more bad news: This will probably be my last update for, like, a month. At least on this story. I don't have much of an explanation except that I need to do some stuff and Fanfiction is getting in the way…**

**Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl? I'm fairly sure I don't own a best seller. *Butler grunts* I'm positive I don't own it actually. *Butler smiles* Why doesn't he ever talk?**

Nellie smiled to herself. Artemis had come looking for her. Then she grimaced. Did that mean he liked her? Or even worse, she liked him? She sincerely hoped not. But if one of them liked each other, what did it mean? Nellie wasn't exactly a supporter of Holly and Artemis loving each other, but she didn't think they should be with anyone else than each other. What would Holly think of all of this?

Outside of the cubbyhole Artemis repeated his question. "Where is Nellie Green?"

Captain White pulled at his collar nervously. "Who?"

Artemis laughed. "You can't honestly think that I'm going to fall for that! We followed Mulch's trail of destruction to this spot. He's really upset the American police I might add."

"Well, Mulch may be a bad driver, but that doesn't have anything to do with some girl who is named Nellie Green." Captain White glared at Mulch, who was standing in the corner.

"Oh? How about the fact that before Mulch destroyed the freeway he was seen at the Green's residence? Taking Nellie." Artemis cocked an eyebrow.

"When did the high and mighty Artemis Fowl decide to go looking for random girls? Is she your girlfriend?" Captain White snickered.

Artemis chuckled. "Far from it. We met at her school. I was sent to set her sister straight on a few matters."

"Well, whoever she is she isn't at my head quarters." The captain leaned back in his chair and put his army boots on the desk. "So you can take your man-mountain and get out."

Artemis frowned and stood. "You're a smart boy so you know that the only way we'll be leaving is if we are certain Miss Green is not here. Allowing us to search the house will make things much easier for you if she isn't here."

Captain White slid out of his chair and stood before Artemis, the captain was a good head taller. "If that's how you feel about things then feel free to look around. I have nothing to hide."

Artemis smiled his signature vampire smile and turned to leave the room. "Thank you, I'll be searching the downstairs for the time being."

Captain White was going to say something but Butler slammed the door. "I must work on getting the last word." The boy muttered.

"Should I let her out?" Mulch asked, snacking on fruit again.

Captain White nodded, flipping through some papers on his desk.

Mulch went to the door and knocked seven times. "Ah-choo." The door slid open and Nellie blinked out the sunlight.

"What would you have done to me if I screamed?" Nellie asked skeptically.

"Huh? Oh, I would have sealed the door shut with dwarf saliva so that the air would run out and eventually you would suffocate." Mulch said nonchalantly.

Nellie swallowed hard and remained quiet.

Captain White looked up at her. "As you heard, Artemis is looking for you. I'm assuming he's downstairs interrogating dwarfs. None of them will say anything of course, but you need to be hidden anyway."

Nellie's eyes widened. "Not back in there! The dirty tissues were disgusting!"

"There are six other hiding spaces you can take your pick." The captain gestured around the room.

"I'll take the cleanest." Nellie moaned, peeling a Kleenex off of her shoe.

Mulch dragged her over to a spot on the wall and knocked seven times. This time he made a sound that was similar to a snore. The door opened and pillows tumbled out.

"This is the cleanest of all seven. Feel free to take a nap." Mulch chortled.

Nellie sat on one of the cushions and smiled at the dwarf. "Thanks Mulch. I'd just like to say that even though you're being a jerk right now, you have always been my favorite character."

Mulch blushed and another door across the room swung open. "Sorry, that way to get in that door is to blush so whenever someone does it comes open." He closed her door and gave her a small, friendly grin.

Downstairs Artemis and Butler where listening to every word said in the office. Artemis took the listening device out of his ear and turned to Butler. "We'll stay down here for a little longer and then head upstairs. It should be easy to get Nellie out of here after we open the secret door, but in case it isn't I have devised a plan."

Butler nodded grimly and listened to the teenager's plot.

A few minutes later Artemis and Butler ascended the staircase and went to the office. Artemis knocked on the door and Captain White answered.

"We're done with the downstairs part of your lovely house and would like to take a peek at the office." Artemis explained as casually as he could.

Captain White let them in, trying to look as if nothing was amiss. "There isn't really room to hide a girl in here, unless of course she was under the desk."

Artemis looked under the desk, just so Captain White thought he had no idea where the girl was. "You're right; there isn't much room in here. Would you mind leaving us alone so I can meditate?"

"Why? So you can go through my confidential papers? I don't think so." The boy sat in his chair, "I'm staying right here."

Artemis nodded. "Understandable. I wouldn't want anyone looking through my office. Butler, will you try those walls?"

Butler began tapping the walls.

"What is he doing?!" Captain White cried.

"Searching for trap doors. In Fowl manor there are hundreds of them. I'm just checking." Artemis shrugged.

Inside the wall Nellie was growing tired of Artemis' delay in finding her. She thought about what Mulch had said about sealing her in, but she knew that he had gone downstairs after Artemis and Butler came up. She took a deep breath and let out the loudest scream she could muster.

**A/N: I know I didn't say who Captain White is related to and all that, but I just thought it was too much fun to make you keep guessing. If you know who he's related to then go ahead and tell me who you think it is! (In a review, not a PM please.) Till next time, Fairyfinder.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: We have a winner! Good guessing SeeSea17, but you could have left out the middle word. Anyway, that wasn't really so bad, but it brought something to my attention. When you guys review, PLEASE do not use cuss words. It makes me mad when I read them. Thank you!**

**Disclaimer: I nearly forgot this, sorry Butler. I don't own Artemis Fowl, now could someone please tell that to my cat?**

Artemis turned to the wall that was concealing Nellie. Captain White gritted his teeth. Butler did the secret knock and password that allowed him to open the door. Nellie tumbled out into the big man's waiting hands.

"Thanks." She got up and dusted herself off.

Everyone in the room turned to Captain White. He was smiling sheepishly at them.

"Where did she come from?" He tried.

Artemis rolled his eyes. "Oh please; playing the fool didn't work earlier and won't work now. Miss Green, are you alright?"

Nellie nodded. "Yeah, now can I go home?"

"In little while. First I need to ask our friend, the Captain, a few questions." Artemis glared at the other boy.

Nellie glared as well, "I'd like to know why in the world he would kidnap me?!"

Captain White sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "I will not tell you anything."

Butler cracked his knuckles in a very menacing way and cocked a brow. "Oh really?"

Captain White swallowed fearfully and nodded. Artemis tapped his foot impatiently. He didn't like to be kept waiting.

"I suppose we'll have to wait for the LEP then, unless you'd like to talk to Butler." He smiled cruelly and stepped aside in order to make room for his massive body guard.

Captain White shuddered. He knew that when the LEP got there they'd mesmerize him into telling them so it would be a waste of time (and his bones safety) to not tell Artemis. The boy licked his lips and opened his mouth.

"I suppose I could tell you one or two things." The captain agreed.

While Artemis and Butler intimidated Captain White, Nellie looked around. Fruit was everywhere. Painted on the walls, sitting in bowls, on the desk, even the chair cushions were shaped like fruit. There were all kinds, but mainly apples.

_Poison apples, dwarfs, really good looking owner, this all seems familiar… _Nellie pondered as Captain White rambled on about a few different reasons as to why he sent Mulch to the Green residence. _Captain _White_, where have I heard that last name before?_ Then it hit her like a ton of bricks. She stared at the captain. _Whoa, this is big. But I have to ask him…_

"What is your name?" She asked suspiciously.

Captain White blinked. "Why do you care?"

"Just tell me." Nellie demanded.

"Seth Pomeroy***** White." He stated.

"S. White!" Nellie exclaimed to herself. "So I was right!"

Artemis was watching her curiously. "Right about what?"

Nellie blushed. "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to say that out loud. You probably already know this, being a genius and all, but I was just trying to figure out why he is so familiar."

Artemis nodded. "I'm assuming you came to the conclusion that…"

Nellie interrupted excitedly. "He's Snow White!"

Captain White (who we shall now be calling Seth) chuckled. "Close. I'm her great-great-great-great-great-grandson."

"This is _awesome_!" Nellie squealed. She did an excited dance and spun around in circles. Both teenage boys in the room raised an eyebrow. Butler, having a young sister, was used to this kind of thing and remained impassable.

"Err," Artemis coughed awkwardly.

"Uh," Seth grunted.

"I cannot believe something this, cool – no – _astoundingly incredible_, is happening to _me_!" Nellie giggled, "First Artemis Fowl and Butler, then I get kidnapped by a descendant of one of my favorite literary characters of all time! I must be the luckiest girl alive!"

The boys looked at each other. "Lucky?" They said at the same time.

"Totally! This is so cool! I just want to hug someone!" Nellie sang.

Both young men backed away when she brought up hugging.

"Perhaps you can keep her." Artemis offered.

Seth shook his head vigorously. "No, no, you had her first."

"We'll let the LEP deal with her." Artemis decided.

Nellie was pirouetting like a ballerina. Butler chuckled and put a hand on her shoulder, bringing her to a stop.

"Maybe you should calm down a bit. I think you're scaring the criminals." The big man smiled.

Nellie took a deep breath and smiled back, barely containing her glee. "Okay. Sorry about that. It's just, nothing exciting has _ever_ happened to me. Meeting you guys is, like, a dream come true!"

"Too bad that you'll be forgetting it all." Seth commented.

Nellie's shoulders dropped, her face fell, and she stared at the boy. "W-what?"

"I thought you knew about mind wipes." The captain said skeptically.

"But, Artemis, didn't you say that…" Nellie's eyes were filled with tears.

"I did." Artemis agreed, "You won't be getting a mind wipe from the LEP, I settled it with Commander Kelp on the way here."

Seth shook his head. "That was why I brought her here. I protect the People, mainly the dwarfs, from being found out. My whole operation is to catch humans that have found out about Haven and fairies and mind wipe them."

Artemis took mental notes of everything said so that he could review it later. "Was this what Snow White did here also?"

"No, after the first of Mr. Colfer's books were published a group of LEP came to my father and asked him to set up the operation. After my father died I took over." Seth shrugged.

"So, you're on the LEP?" Nellie asked, becoming rather befuddled.

"Not exactly. It was a special division that asked my family to do this. My sisters, Salina and Snow VIII, run a house a little like this in Italy, to protect trolls." The captain told them.

Artemis, Butler and Nellie blanked out for a second and asked dumbly: "Protect trolls?"

"Yes. My cousin, Shawn, lives in Asia. He takes care of the sprites. We have people posted all around the globe to protect different species of fairies." Seth explained.

Nellie took a note book out of her jacket pocket and began scribbling notes furiously. "Trolls in Italy, sprites in Asia…" She mumbled to herself.

Artemis' phone rang, playing Beethoven's Fifth, and he snapped it up to his ear. "Holly?"

The boy listened for a few moments, trying to speak at certain times, and always ending up saying, "Yes, I know."

Nellie crossed her fingers, knowing this conversation was probably about her. She squeezed her eyes shut as Artemis put down the phone.

"Well Captain, the LEP is at your door." The Irish youth announced, "And they brought handcuffs."

***Pomeroy is a French name meaning "apple orchard". :D**

**A/N: I really like this chapter so I hope you guys do too! Thank you all for the reviews, they make my day. Thanks especially to Juliegirl22 (that would be creepy to have another Artemis clone walking around!), TheBigCat (Cudgeon was a good idea), SkywardWriter, CeciliaFowl (love your story!) and SeeSea17(thanks for all the reviews!). You guys rock! Remember; please keep your reviews PG. Thanks!**


	17. Chapter 17 (I got 50 reviews, yay!)

**A/N: I love the reviews! They made me so happy, like it's my birthday and my mom is making cookies happy! Thanks so much guys! I normally don't do shout outs, but you guys rock so:**

**SkywardWriter: 1. that's cool that you have a twin! 2. So glad you liked that part, it was one of my favorites to write!**

**TheBigCat: Cinderella would make things interesting, but I'm not going to bring her in, sorry. And as far as demons go, I don't like writing about them, because demons are real and they are nothing like the ones Mr. Colfer wrote about. **

**WriterGuy1: Your review was the greatest! Thanks! An angry mob, huh? Sounds like fun! And I hope this chapter satisfies!**

**Disclaimer: Before Butler can say anything I don't own Artemis Fowl! *Butler nods in agreement***

Before anyone could say anything more Seth (Cpt. White) spun around and jumped out the open window behind him. Butler grabbed the back of his uniform and held on tightly.

"Let me go!" Seth ordered.

"And let you fall to your death? I don't think so." Butler grunted, heaving the boy back through the window. He set the captain down, but kept his grip on Seth's shoulder.

"I wasn't going to die." The boy grumbled.

"He is right; there are several ways he could have gotten to the bottom without breaking a single bone." Artemis commented, looking out the window.

"Even if Butler had let you out the window the LEP would be right outside, right?" Nellie noted.

Seth hung his head. "Yeah, but it was worth a shot."

Nellie tapped her chin thoughtfully, pondering something. "Why did the LEP come here? I mean, Seth works for them so it's not like he was breaking their rules by kidnapping me. Unless, did he commit a different crime?"

"No," Artemis replied, "They're taking him in for questioning, nothing more."

Seth groaned. "They aren't going to have that centaur interrogate me, are they?"

Nellie gasped and covered her mouth, trying to contain a smile. She jumped up and down, making the other occupants of the room wonder if she needed to visit the bathroom. "Wow!" She squealed.

"What has caused your uncontainable glee now?" Artemis sighed, rubbing his forehead.

Nellie burst out in excited giggles. "Do I get to meet Foaly?!"

It took Artemis a moment to remember who Foaly was. _The centaur, that's right._ "Perhaps,"

Nellie cut him off with laughter and squeals. "This is so awesome!"

Mulch walked through the door, spotted the elated girl, and backed out again. "Never mind."

Seth straightened up. "Wait Mulch, what is it?"

Mulch stared at Nellie while delivering his message. "Um, Trouble and his boys, not to mention Holly, are downstairs arresting dwarfs left and right. Are Mud Girls supposed to do that?"

Nellie was literally rolling over laughing on the floor, holding her stomach as the giggles escaped her mouth. "Holly! And Trouble! They're here!"

Seth turned to Butler. "You can let me go now. I'm going downstairs to save some of my dwarfs!"

As soon as Butler let go of the teenager he was down the stairs arguing with LEP Recon officers. Butler, Artemis, Nellie, and Mulch ran down the stairs after him, with Mulch in the back. You never let a dwarf go first.

At the base of the stairs Seth was fighting with none other than Commander Trouble Kelp. The two were screaming in each other's faces. Well, actually it looked more like this: Seth would scream in Trouble's face and the return to a standing position and let Trouble yell at his knees. This did not improve the Commander's mood.

"You can't just barge in here and start hauling away my dwarfs!" Seth yelled, bending down to Trouble's height.

"It's a perk that comes with the badge, kid." Trouble retorted in a manner that would have made Julius Root proud.

Nellie was covering her mouth and trying to refrain from hugging the elfin officer. She was so excited to see the real Trouble "Trubs" Kelp standing in front of her that she nearly fainted. Artemis noticed this and elbowed Butler. The big man put his arm gently on Nellie's shoulder to keep her from doing something regrettable.

"Hi there Artemis." Holly greeted, appearing next to the Irish youth, "This must be your friend, nice to finally meet you, Nellie."

This time Nellie did faint.

When she woke up Mulch, Holly, Foaly, Trouble, and Artemis were looking down at her. Seeing her favorite characters being worried about her almost made her pass out again, but she remained conscious, surprisingly. Holly waved her hand in front of the girl's face.

"Are you awake?" The elf asked.

"Yes, unless I'm dreaming, which is very likely." Nellie groaned, sitting up. She bonked her head on Foaly's as she came up. "Ow! Oh, I'm so sorry!" Nellie was concerned that she had hurt the centaur.

"No problem," Foaly assured her, tapping a tin foil hat on his head, "When you wear one of these not much can hurt you."

"Really? It doesn't look that durable." Nellie smiled, not believing that she was having a conversation with _Foaly_.

"Are you okay?" Mulch asked her, "I may not be an expert, but blood coming out of a forehead normally isn't a good thing."

Nellie felt her forehead. When she pulled her hand back, crimson liquid was smeared on it. "Rats! Has anyone got a Band-Aid?"

Holly put her hand on the girl's forehead. "I've got something better. _Heal_."

Nellie squealed, causing her new friends to jump back. "That is so amazing! It felt so weird!" She took out her notebook and jotted down a few notes about how being healed felt the same way cotton-candy does when it's dissolving in your mouth and put it back in her jacket pocket. Nellie got up off the floor and looked around; she was no longer in the Dwarf House, but in a shuttle. Before she could blurt one "awesome" Mulch covered her mouth with his hand. Nellie shook it off after she mumbled her astonishment and blushed.

"Sorry. It's just, I've never had some many amazing things happen to me in such little time! Dwarfs, centaurs, elves, and _Artemis Fowl,_ how lucky am I?" Nellie giggled.

"I'm not sure I'd consider meeting Artemis 'lucky'." Holly laughed, "More like 'a danger to your health'."

Mulch agreed. "I'm always getting in dangerous situations to save his sorry behind."

Artemis smiled warmly at the dwarf. "And we are all very glad of your services, Mr. Digence."

Nellie coughed, covering up a correction, "Diggums."

Artemis scowled at himself. "Sorry Mulch, I meant Diggums."

There was silence for a few minutes, it became rather awkward. Finally the piolet broke it by shouting. "We're arriving in Haven, Commander."

Nellie promptly passed out… again.

**A/N: I hope you liked this chapter! I have an announcement: I finally know where I'm going with this story! I've planned out the fast approaching parts and the ending so it won't be random! Yay me! I can't wait to see what you all think! Don't worry; I won't rush to get there so it will be good quality (if you can call my poor grammar "quality"). Bye for now!**

**Holly: You finally included me.**

**Me: Well duh! There is no such thing as a Holly-less story!**

**Holly: I'm sure it's been done.**

**Me: Yeah, probably. But you're in mine now so hurray!**

**Holly *setting her gun to "extra crispy"*: Don't make me use this.**


	18. Chapter 18 A Good Cry and Drowned Brains

**A/N: It has been forever since I've updated and I'm sorry about that. I've had a lot going on like arguing about whether or not I should go to the prom (I don't want to go). Anyway, sorry for the wait! On with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I just discovered the most amazing thing this morning. I actually don't own Artemis Fowl! Can you believe it?!**

Nellie woke up in an incredibly short hospital bed. She looked around and saw no one. _I must have been crazy and now I'm locked in the psycho ward!_ She thought worriedly. Nellie was wearing a hospital gown and had something attached to her forehead. _I've got to get out of here! Artemis must have been a hallucination._ She thought this sadly, wishing something exciting had actually happened to her.

Nellie ripped the thing off of her forehead and found it to be some kind of monitoring device. She stuck it into the flower vase that was next to her and looked around for her clothes.

"Aha!" She jumped out of the bed and pulled on her jeans and T-shirt. "Where is my jacket?!" Nellie began to panic; her jacket had her notebook in it, not to mention five bucks! She couldn't locate the article of clothing anywhere in the room and so decided to leave without it. The teenager opened the window and looked out. "Whoa! I don't think I'm in Iowa anymore." Below her window was a city, but it appeared to be underground. "It wasn't a dream! Or a hallucination!"

She leaned out the window and took a breath. Nellie coughed abruptly. "No wonder Holly likes above ground better. This place stinks! The air is so thick."

Suddenly Artemis and a doctor, who looked to be a gnome, burst through the door. They looked over at her and she smiled, shutting the window. The doctor pulled the monitoring device out of the vase. It was dripping with water.

"I found the problem, Master Fowl." The doctor, who Nellie guessed was Dr. Argon, droned in perfect English.

Artemis chuckled. "I told you there was nothing wrong with her head."

"What's going on? Why am I in the hospital? By the way, it's a pleasure to meet you Dr. Argon." Nellie smiled, extending her hand.

Argon shook her hand and looked up at the girl. "You know my name?"

"You're in the books, The Opal Deception particularly. And the beginning of The Last Guardian." She grinned, "I always thought the description of you was unfair."

"Why thank you. Now, to answer your questions: You are in the hospital because you fainted and were unresponsive. Foaly thought it might have something to do with your first healing or over excitement. We were monitoring your head until we got a signal that your brain had drowned." He tugged at his collar and gestured to the vase, "I guess not."

Nellie giggled. "So you came rushing in here because you thought my brain had drowned in a very dry room. Good thinking, Artemis, and you too, Dr. Argon."

Artemis smiled. "I suppose we over reacted, but you are the first human down here besides Butler and me."

"Wow! That's cool! Is there any way I could get a tour or something?" Nellie asked, trying to take in everything that was going on without passing out again. She noted every detail of the room; the Gnommish symbols flashing on different screens, the drastically small furniture, the height of the door, and the shape of everything.

"Here, this might help." Artemis handed Nellie her notebook, taking notice of what she was doing.

"Thanks." Nellie said briskly as she snapped open her notebook and searched for a writing utensil, "Do you have a pen by chance?"

Argon pulled one out of his breast-pocket. "Be careful, it was a gift from a friend."

The blue pen was covered in gold Gnommish. Having Googled Gnomish, Nellie knew the basic characters well enough to see that it was inscribed to "Jerry" and was "From Mummy with Love". Nellie tried not to laugh.

Artemis' eyes grew wide as Nellie's pen scribbled quickly across the page. She was going so fast that her hand writing was a sloppy mess. A code that could only be cracked by its creator. The girl already had ink covering her fingertips as if she had dipped them in an inkwell instead of merely writing a few paragraphs.

"Slow down!" Artemis laughed, "You have plenty of time to take notes."

Nellie slowed long enough to glance at the boy before continuing with her frenzied writing. "Oh? How much time? Do I have enough time to write a description worthy of being turned into a story? Believe me; _no one_ has enough time for that. I've got to write down every detail!"

Artemis shook his head wearily. "Authors."

Nellie stopped writing and put her hands on her hips. "If I recall correctly _you _have written a few novels yourself." She said this hopping that either that was indeed true or if it wasn't Artemis wouldn't remember.

"I suppose you're right. Would you mind telling me about your other writing endeavors?" The genius asked.

"Uh," Nellie uttered while finishing up a sentence, "Recently Fanfiction," She looked around and began describing the short ceiling, "I've done a few other things for writing programs, contests, websites, and I've written two novels – they aren't published of course – I write for myself and for English class, though I have to dumb it up for my teacher sometimes. I just like writing." With this she turned the page of her notebook and began jotting down some more notes. She accidently snapped the small pen in her fingers.

Argon winced. "Oh dear,"

Nellie looked down as the ink oozed over her hands. "Sorry Jerry – err – Dr. Argon." She handed him the two pieces, "I don't mean to, but when I get excited I push really hard when I write."

Argon took the broken pen and put it in his pocket. He sniffled. "No problem. It was just an old pen."

Nellie wrung her hands awkwardly. "Could you give me directions to the bathroom so I can get this ink off my hands?"

"I'll show you," Artemis announced and then whispered to her, "Jerry needs time alone with his pen."

Nellie snickered, "Did you see the inscription?"

Artemis smirked. "Of course,"

They walked through the hallway with fairies staring at them the whole time. There were whispers and giggles. Nellie felt very tall, and not the normal feeling she got from being that tallest girl in class. It was very odd having to literally look down on people who figuratively she looked up to. The poor girl almost fainted as she recognized fairies passing by her, but she had already done her fair share of that and tried not to do anymore.

"So…" She began, trying to seem casual, "What happened to Captain White, err, Seth."

Artemis gave a small wave to a gnome that passed them and turned to her. "I believe Foaly is questioning him right now."

Nellie nodded. "What's going to happen to him after that?"

"His family's whole operation is probably going to be dropped. It was never actually approved by the council and was actually a precaution that Commander Root took without permission." Artemis informed her.

At the mention of Julius Root Nellie's eyes filled with tears. She wiped them away quickly and spotted the bathroom, "Excuse me!" She blubbered.

Inside the bathroom Nellie closed a toilet seat and sat down. She sat there for twenty minutes, crying over Julius Root's death. It was worse than when she had read about it. There was a knock on her stall's door and she opened it to see Holly standing before her.

"Oh gosh! I'm sorry, crying here like a fool." Nellie tried to laugh, running her sleeve across her face to clear up the tears and mucus that were dripping from her like a faucet. She tried to get out of the stall but it was too short and she banged her head. "Ow!"

Holly looked at her worriedly. "Are you alright, Nellie?"

"Yeah, I-I'm fine." Nellie whimpered, rubbing her forehead.

"Artemis told me he was walking with you and then you ran in here crying. Did he say something offensive to you? I know he has a tendency to do that without realizing it." Holly asked.

Nellie tried laughing but it came out as a loud snort. "No, I was just thinking about someone."

Holly smiled sympathetically at her. "Was it Root?"

Nellie nodded sadly and sat on the floor so she could be at the same level as Holly. "When I read about him in the book I cried, but it was just because it was so well written, not because I actually cared that much. I thought it was fake, but now that I know it's real…" She burst into tears again.

Holly awkwardly patted Nellie on the back. "I can't say that I know how you feel because obviously I knew Root was real, but I know how it feels to lose him."

All Nellie could do was cry until she had no more tears left. "Thanks Captain Short; I don't think Eoin Colfer did you justice in the books. He wrote about you being nice, but you are the nicest person, err, elf I've ever met."

"And probably the only elf…" Holly smiled.

Nellie giggled, "That too."

**A/N: This chapter probably isn't very satisfying, but it took me forever to write and I like it. Holly has not fried me yet (thank you for your concern House Mech). I'll try to be faster in my updates. Bye! Please review! Oh rats, I just thought of something; isn't J. Argon Clinic only for the wealthy? Oh well, ignore that fact!**


	19. Chapter 19 Foaly's Ops Booth

**A/N: I know it takes me forever to update this story, but you probably don't want to her my weak apology so I'll get to the story.**

**Disclaimer: Butler's fist is about to become very well acquainted with my face so I don't own Artemis Fowl.**

Artemis felt bad for making Nellie cry, but since he didn't know exactly what he had said to cause this he didn't feel too guilty. He was in one of the lush waiting rooms of Argon Clinic with Butler, who had to crouch because of the low ceiling. Mulch walked in and looked around. He finally spotted Artemis and Butler and sashayed over to them.

"So how is our Mud Girl?" The dwarf inquired.

"She is, err, preoccupied at the moment." Artemis muttered.

"What happened?" Mulch asked sarcastically, "Did she break up with you or something?"

Artemis blushed. Butler turned to Mulch. "He made her cry and Holly is trying to calm her down."

"How did you make her cry?"

"I have no idea!" Artemis snapped, "I didn't mean to, we were talking and she suddenly ran into the restroom with tears in her eyes."

"Probably bad gas; sometimes that makes me feel like crying." Mulch said with great authority.

Artemis rolled his eyes. "I highly doubt it was that."

Holly walked into the room with Nellie behind her. The girl's eyes were puffy and her sleeve was wet. As she walked she straightened her glasses and tried to restore some dignity to her hair, for it was in shambles. Holly smiled at Artemis and Nellie sniffled.

"Hi," She whispered.

"Nellie, I am terribly sorry for anything I said that offended you." Artemis said briskly.

"It's okay; it wasn't your fault." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve again, smudging her glasses.

"I knew it was gas!" Mulch exclaimed.

Nellie giggled. "It wasn't that!"

Holly whispered something to Artemis that made his eyes bulge. He quickly regained his composure and turned to Butler. Nellie tried to listen to what they were saying, but it was in Gnommish. It couldn't be good because Butler, whose face was normally impassable, looked at her with concern.

"What? What happened?" Nellie asked quickly.

Mulch was curious also, for he had not been let in on the conversation either. "Yeah! What's the big secret?"

Artemis straightened his tie, avoiding looking Nellie in the eye. "Nothing big,"

Nellie swallowed a sob. "I have to be mind wiped, don't I?"

"No. It's just a minor problem with some technology here at the clinic that they require assistance with." Artemis lied.

Nellie nodded glumly. "Okay. Do you think I could look around Haven for a little while?"

Artemis turned to Holly. "That is entirely up to the LEP."

Holly shrugged. "Why not? What would you like to see?"

Nellie was thinking about the Eleven Wonders exhibit, but remembered that it was still overrun by trolls. She tried to think of the Haven settings in the book. "How about Foaly's Ops booth?"

"I'll have to ask Foaly, but I think it can be arranged." Holly agreed. She and Nellie exited the hospital, attracting several curious glances. The two found their way to LEP headquarters and went straight for the operation booth, though every once and a while Nellie would stop, gawk at things, and take a few notes.

Inside the Ops booth Foaly was maneuvering four computers at once; the first was a flat out computer, as was the second, but the others Nellie didn't notice until Foaly winked at her and then wrinkled his nose.

"Um, what are you doing?" She asked as Foaly stuck out his tongue and crossed his eyes.

"Operating my helmet computer." Foaly said, casually wiggling his eyebrows.

"Okay then. How can you do three computers at once and still know what's happening around you?" Nellie queried, getting her pen ready.

"Actually, I'm using four computers. My helmet, these two, and my cellular phone, though I'm using that to text my wife at the moment." Foaly replied rolling his eyes around in circles, "And as to how I'm doing it all, I'm a genius."

"And a very humble one at that." Nellie giggled silently.

"So what are you working on?" Holly asked her friend.

"On my three work-related computers I am devising a way to install personal planners onto Neutrinos. It'll make sure our fine officers have all of their plans in order while they take down criminals." The centaur winked. Nellie wasn't sure if he was actually winking to be friendly or to operate his computer helmet.

"I was wondering if you could put down your computers for a minute and show Nellie around." Holly nagged.

Foaly scowled, smiled, and then made a face like he was going to kiss someone. Holly and Nellie stared at his interesting facial expressions as he squinted and blinked.

"Hang on, let me turn of my helmet," Foaly stuck out his tongue and wrinkled his nose while giving the small screen his evil eye. He turned to Nellie, "So what did you want again?"

"I just wanted to have a look around and maybe interview you." Nellie smiled, "You _are _one of my favorite characters."

Foaly puffed up proudly. "Well, I can give a tour if you'd like, and if I have time I could give you an interview." He looked at a planner, that Nellie saw was completely empty, and smiled, "You're in luck; I can just squeeze in enough time for an interview."

Holly rolled her eyes, and she wasn't controlling a helmet computer.

Foaly showed Nellie around his Ops booth, it didn't take long. He showed her his favorite inventions, which turned out to be, not his iris cam, but a small device that made the owner incredibly flexible. Finally he sat down in his unique, centaur chair and got ready for the interview.

Nellie drilled him with questions about the books and his work for the LEP. Foaly always answered in a quite flattering way… that is, flattering for himself.

"How do you think you handled the situation when you were locked in the Ops booth and everyone thought you were to blame for the goblin revolution?" Nellie asked.

"Despite the inevitable doom heading my way, I think I handled it very well. In my own opinion the revolution could not have been put out if it were not for a certain centaur's quick thinking and initiative." Foaly answered arrogantly.

"Really? Cause in the book it said you cried." Nellie raised an eyebrow.

"I did not! It was simply cover for my brilliant plan." Foaly pouted.

"Impressive. I have one last question: do you really think it was in the People's best interest to produce the clone of Artemis Fowl?" She grilled.

Holly turned red with anger. "Of course it was! We would be a doomed world if it weren't for Artemis!"

"Of course. I'm sure your feelings on this topic have nothing to do with a kiss in a gorilla cage." Nellie smiled smugly.

At that precise moment Artemis walked in, though neither girl saw him.

"What?! How do you know about that?!" The elfin officer screamed.

Nellie flashed a quick grin. "I'm not the only one! And you wouldn't believe some of the stories on Fanfiction about you two! In my personal opinion some of them should be rated PG-13."

Artemis blushed in the doorway and started to back out. His sleeve caught on a switch and a siren went off before he could escape. Artemis quickly put the switch to the way it had been, but everyone was already staring at him.

"Um," Artemis coughed.

Holly blushed when she realized he had heard their conversation. She quickly shook it off and scowled at Nellie. "What is the status of the, uh, thing at the clinic?" She asked the Irish youth.

"I managed to fix it and thought I'd come check on you three. It's time for lunch and I was thinking we could all go together, but if you are still busy…" Artemis trailed off.

"No, no, just a petty fight." Holly smiled, "Right, Nellie?"

"Yes. I'm starving; what happened to Butler?"

"He's outside because he couldn't fit through the door. I myself barely managed it." Artemis laughed.

"Same here. So where are we going to eat?" Nellie asked.

"Hopefully no place that Mulch finds acceptable." Foaly noted.

"Actually, my mother called and suggested we go to my house." Artemis informed him.

"Fowl Manor?!" Nellie squealed.

"Yessss…" Artemis worried that she would pass out again.

"Can I buy a camera first?!" She laughed, "Are your parents home? And the twins? Myles and Beckett are probably my favorite characters ever!"

Mulch and Foaly pouted in unison and said: "I thought I was!"

Nellie ignored them and continued to babble on about how Myles and Beckett reminded her of her own brothers, Jack and Gary. She chatted about how adorable they were all the way to the surface and on the car ride through Ireland, though she took notes the whole time. The only time she shut up was when they pulled in the driveway of Fowl Manor.

**A/N: I don't know how soon I'll be able to update, maybe Wednesday night if I'm lucky. Can't wait to see what you guys think of this chapter! :D**


	20. Chapter 20 Short, Fat, Ninjas

**A/N: It's been a while, hasn't it? I'll try to update more frequently, but I'm not sure if it will happen. Sorry.**

**Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl? Don't own it.**

Nellie gaped at the manor, with her mouth hanging open. She didn't even move her pen to take notes. Artemis smirked in the seat next to her and Holly stifled a giggle. Nellie pushed open her car door and stumbled out onto the gravel drive.

"It's humungous!" She stammered, "And much prettier than I thought it'd be!"

"Thank you." Artemis nodded.

"I can't believe I'm standing on the lawn of Fowl Manor!" She whispered, taking a deep breath.

"Are you in need of medical attention?" Artemis asked dryly.

Nellie shook her head. She continued to stare at the castle in front of her for several minutes before she started taking notes. As she took her notes Foaly and Mulch got out of the car. The centaur stretched his four legs and Mulch belched loudly.

"How I managed to fit in that vehicle I'll never know." Foaly grunted, rubbing his sore legs.

"I'm surprised you agreed to get in with Mulch." Holly commented.

Mulch made a face at her and then belched again. "When are we eating? I'm starved."

Nellie was oblivious to everyone as she wrote her notes. She glanced at her companions every now and then, but beside that all she did was look at the manor. After waiting fifteen minutes the rest of the group grew tired of waiting and demanded that she stop taking notes and come get something to eat.

"Just a few more!" Nellie hissed, completely absorbed by the gargoyles on the roof. Artemis sighed and motioned to Butler. The big man picked her up and slung her over his shoulder, "No! Wait! I just have to take a few more notes!"

Butler ignored her protests and carried her up to the front door.

"Whoa! Cool! This door must have been replaced after the troll attack! Where did you find one so old?" She squealed.

Artemis was about to answer, but Holly put a hand over his mouth. "Don't give her any more information for her notes! We'll be out here forever!"

Artemis nodded and Holly removed her hand. "I think you're right. Let's go in and get lunch."

After Butler unlocked the many locks on the front door the group entered the house. Again, Nellie was rendered speechless, but this time so was everyone else.

The house was a disaster. Furniture was torn to shreds, windows were smashed, and Artemis thought he saw one of his lab rats running across the floor. There was a loud _thump_ from the second floor, causing Butler to take out his gun and push Artemis behind him protectively. He gently set Nellie down and headed for the stairs.

"Holly, you cover this floor." The body guard barked.

Holly nodded and pulled out her own weapon. She set it to stun, but was prepared to change it to "Extra Crispy" if need be.

Foaly, Artemis, Mulch, and Nellie followed the LEP captain, searching for the intruder. They found themselves in the kitchen, where Mulch investigated the contents of the refrigerator. No one expressed their disgust as the dwarf swallowed a chicken whole; in fact, no one dared breathe lest the intruder hear them.

Finally Butler came back downstairs with the rest of the Fowl family and his sister. "They were locked in one of the upstairs bathrooms."

"Can any of you tell us what happened?" Artemis inquired.

Beckett's hand shot in the air. "I know! I know!"

"What happened?" Artemis asked.

"It was fat ninjas!" The little boy cried.

Myles nodded in agreement. "Short, fat ninjas destroyed the house and locked us in the bathroom!"

Artemis turned to his parents. "What actually happened?"

"The boys are right; it was short, husky men, dressed like assassins came in and started breaking things!" Mrs. Fowl told her son, "When Juliet tried to intervene they locked us in the bathroom! I think they were looking for something."

"Perhaps they were dwarfs…" Artemis said thoughtfully, "But surely not the same dwarfs that work with Captain White."

Foaly pulled at his collar uncomfortably. "Well, it's not impossible."

"No, but highly unlikely; they wouldn't be brave enough to attack with their leader captured."

"What if their leader wasn't captured?" Foaly squeaked.

"What are you saying?" Holly asked skeptically.

"Well, I may not have been questioning Captain White so much as trying to find him."

"What?" Nellie asked incredulously.

"Captain White escaped."


	21. An Unexplainable Feeling (not romance)

**A/N: I know, I know. I took too long to update. I've been very busy of late, but after May 8****th**** I will be updating a lot more. Hopefully. Sometimes I just don't feel like writing. I hope you enjoy this chapter, though it is rather short. **

**Disclaimer: For the – hang on – 21****st**** time! I DO NOT OWN ARTEMIS FOWL!**

"How could you have let this happen?" Nellie squeaked.

Foaly blushed, it was not an appealing color on the centaur. "Well, the officers who were riding with him, uh, didn't handcuff him and…"

Holly groaned. "What happened?"

"White stole the shuttle; we found the officers in the chute and they reported it." The centaur had covered his face with his hand and peeked through his fingers at Holly.

"Who was escorting him?" The elfin officer asked grimly.

"Two new guys and Chix Verbil." Foaly whinnied.

"I see."

Nellie groaned loudly. "Whose idea was it to let Chix work with new officers?" Foaly blushed even harder, supplying Nellie with her answer, "You're kidding me! I thought you guys were supposed to be geniuses or genii or whatever!"

"I thought that Seth wouldn't put up a fight! He's only a kid!" Foaly grumbled.

Nellie rolled her eyes. "So is Artemis!"

Artemis didn't know whether he should take that remark as a compliment or an insult so he said nothing.

"Yeah, but he's a criminal mastermind! Seth White works with the LEP!" Foaly pouted.

"That doesn't mean he's going to like being arrested!" Nellie pointed out sarcastically.

"Why don't we eat some lunch?" Angeline Fowl interrupted.

"Yeah!" Juliet agreed, "Then Arty can introduce us to his new girlfriend!" Before Artemis or Nellie could correct her, the young Butler skipped into the kitchen to prepare lunch.

When everyone was seated at the dining room table the questions began. The Fowl family was very curious as to who Seth White was and of course, who Nellie was. The others explained to the best of their ability, but soon grew hungry and couldn't eat and speak at the same time. The conversation was dropped until the chicken (and salads for the fairies) was finished.

"We were never formally introduced, I'm Artemis' mother, but you can call me Angeline." Mrs. Fowl said, extending her hand to Nellie after the meal.

She shook it and smiled. "I'm Cornelia Green, but my friends call me Nellie. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine!" Angeline laughed lightly.

"So tell us how you met our Artemis." Mr. Fowl asked.

Nellie was at a loss for words. It would seem rude to say that Artemis had come to her town to spy on her little sister. She could say she had met him at school, but they knew she was American and Artemis went to an all boys' school. What else could she say?

Luckily, Artemis came to her rescue. "We have a mutual friend – Nellie's sister, in fact."

Artemis Sr. nodded, he was obviously used to such answers from his eldest son. "We are pleased to have such a lovely young lady staying with us."

"Uh, I'm going back to Iowa soon, isn't that right Artemis?" Nellie smiled, hoping it _was_ correct.

"Of course!" Artemis laughed, "I've been meaning to speak with you about that. May we be excused?" He asked his parents.

"Certainly Arty. Why don't you go for a walk in the garden?" Angeline suggested.

Artemis and Nellie left and found their way to the garden. It was chilly outside, as it was October. Nellie zipped up her jacket and looked out over the fields beyond the manor. The grass was still rather green, with only a hint of winter brown and the trees' leaves were in a vibrant array of colors.

"Wow. It's beautiful." She sighed.

"Indeed." Artemis coughed.

"Is there something you're hiding?" Nellie probed.

"Certainly not!" Artemis chuckled nervously.

They were quiet for a while, admiring the scenery and taking in the scent of autumn leaves. After a while a thought crossed Nellie's mind.

She turned to him. "Um, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but can I, um, see it?"

Artemis looked puzzled. "What do you mean by 'it'?"

"Um, this is really going to sound awkward, but can I see your grave?"

Artemis fell silent. He kicked the dirt, scuffing his loafers. After a few minutes he began walking toward one of the fields. Nellie followed wordlessly. Soon they arrived in a meadow that was empty except for a headstone and a patch of dirt with nothing growing on it. The two teenagers were silent for a long time; the only noise to be heard was the scratching of Nellie's pen on her notebook. It seemed so bizarre to be standing next to Artemis' _grave_ and to be standing next to _him_ as well. The feeling was even more unexplainable for Artemis. Soon their thoughts were interrupted. The earth shook beneath them and dirt flew in the air. Nellie knocked Artemis out of the way of something emerging from a hole, not even looking at it before it disappeared.

"What was it?" She asked, helping Artemis up.

"That was a short, fat ninja."


End file.
